Change of a Dress

Episode 63: "Do we really want these things, or are we just programmed?"

I love that. This whole episode cracks me up, because a similar thing happened to me last Christmas. Carrie gets a rash just talking about getting married to Aidan. The best scene is when she is in the wedding gown store, and tries on a dress, she has to bust the buttons to escape it. Her whole back is red, and she starts hyperventilating. She doesn't even wear her engagement ring on her finger, she wears it on a chain around her neck. LOL!

My boyfriend and I have been together almost 6 years, so inevitably people think that we are ready to get married. We are the next in line to have this extravagant wedding. I have a news flash for everyone, I think I am allergic to the idea of getting married. Honestly, I do want to do it, just not now. Not when everyone is waiting and doing it. I don't want to fall in to the typical bridal syndrome that everyone else has fallen victim to. So anyways, he wanted to get me a ring. Yes a fucking engagement ring. I am very particular, so he is afraid of getting some thing that I might not like. So we're shopping at these different jewelry stores, and I saw one or two that I really liked. But I couldn't breathe, and all of sudden I got really hot. The whole idea of it seemed so ridiculous to me. I just kept making up excuses, that I had to use the restroom, or I needed food. I really didn't want to be there, looking for the symbol of our love. I would much rather have him find my ring and give it to me when the time is right.

Are we just programmed? I think so. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage. Our lives have been predestined for us since our childhood. I know that my life will not end up much different, but the longer I can postpone it, I will. Eventually of course we will marry, but not when everyone expects it to happen. We pretty much feel the same way about the whole thing. For some reason, everyone we know started doing it. It was like a fucking epidemic, and we couldn't handle it.

We met in a strange way, in an exotic environment, and we are not the typical couple as is. We want to do things backwards. As backwards as possible. Maybe we'll buy a house, have a baby then get married. Or just buy a house and never have the actual ceremony. Who knows? But we are far away from that. And even as I type this, I know that I will be hit hard when I'm 27 like everyone else. I'll be ready for marriage then, and that is only because I've been fucking programmed like the rest of the damn world.