The Rules of Attraction

In the May issue of Harper’s Bazaar, Ashton Kutcher listed out what makes women desirable based on what they shouldn’t do. Ashton is a frequent guest writer for Harper’s, I’ve read all of the stories he has written for them, and I must say that men should definitely read what he has to say. He gives great advice…great fashion advice. He breaks things down in a way that is so simple and easy to follow, even for the slowest man. So I will list out what he said, not verbatim, but the idea of it…and put his theories to the test.

1. Common Scents – This is for all the women who wear too much perfume and can be detected before they come around the corner. Ashton says, “If I can smell your perfume and we’re not making you, you’re wearing too much.” I’m pretty sure most men will agree with what Ashton has to say about perfume. Personally, I like to just use a dab or two behind the ear, and a dab on the wrists. But I have tested out this wearing too much perfume theory at work…and this guy told me, in a very sarcastic to, “Do you think you have enough perfume on?” So that is one point for Ashton and zero for women.
2. Trash Talking – For the women that like to talk shit about each other. Ashton says, “People who speak negatively about others attract the same in kind, and I don’t want to be near it.” I agree with him on this as well. I tested this one on my one of my friends, and he didn’t seem to mind the gossip…he’s straight. I talked shit about other women, people that we both know and family members. He didn’t engage in the gossip, meaning he didn’t talk shit with me, but he listened and laughed. My conclusion to this particular situation was that he honestly didn’t want to hear me talk about those people. It is imperative for people to remain positive, but women have to be extra positive because there are so many stereotypes placed on us. Ashton is just bringing up what makes women unattractive based on those stereotypes…two for Ashton and zero for women.
3. Truth In Advertising – Women, I think we lost this one from the first word…truth. Ashton says, “Dress how you want to be treated. If you show respect for yourself, you will be respected.” How many times have we heard this one? If you dress like a slut, you will be treated like a slut. If you show some cleavage then men will pay more attention to you. Personally, I show as little as possible on a day to day basis, but when it is time to get dressed up, I will wear knee length, sexy dress. But I don’t regularly try to dress sexy; I think women should be comfortable in their own skin. I can’t speak on experience, but I know a lot of girls who go out of their way to dress like a slut. Of course it works on many men at bars or clubs…but then what happens after a few drinks, the guy automatically thinks you are easy. Women need to respect themselves at all costs. Three for Ashton, zero for women.
4. Jewelry Junkies – For the women that like to wear all their jewelry at one time, is it really necessary. I don’t even think married women should where their engagement rings on a daily basis with their wedding band. Ashton says, “Women who wear big blingin’ stones don’t look like they have a lot of money; they look like they have a lot of someone else’s money.” Wow is all I can say. There was this girl who I used to work with, who had a Cartier wedding band with the eternity diamonds. The first time I saw her wearing her engagement diamond, that had to be 5 carats or more I thought her husband must me rich. Although that was the only thing she wore along with her $60,000 Cartier watch, I was never for a second impressed. All of that jewelry even turned me off. Who wears things like that to work? To type on a computer all day? Never made any sense to me, but she wore it every day. I own a lot of jewelry, but I wear the same pieces every day, a necklace and a ring. I’m not sure how many men pay attention to those things, but from a few guys that I know they just think that the woman is a gold digger. Four for Ashton, zero for women.
5. Like Attracts Like – This is about appreciation and not being selfish. I think men perceive women as being selfish depending on their outward appearance. They automatically think that if a woman dresses really nice and appears to take care of herself then she is really selfish. Ashton says, “Women who focus on what they don’t have are unattractive and attract unattractive people.” I wouldn’t say that I focus entirely on things that I don’t have but I usually want things. I am definitely satisfied and happy with my life right now and the things that I have, but who doesn’t want more? I don’t think there is anything wrong with striving for more in life. I think there are some boundaries that women can and should set. However, I like to take care of myself, I get my hair done EVERY week, I like to shop, but I also like to keep myself looking good for my man. Maybe there is a difference between constantly wanted more and just obtaining more for yourself. In any case that is 4 ½ for Ashton, and ½ for women.
6. Brand Dropping – Last but not least the broadcasting of labels. I am all for shopping at designer stores and purchasing the semi-expensive clothes, whatever is in my price range, but I definitely HATE when women drop names. Ashton says, “Broadcasting labels to make people appreciate your style is not becoming.” My counter argument to that is when other women complement you and ask where you purchased your outfit. Normally I don’t like to tell, because I don’t want people to look like me, or go out and purchase the same thing as me. So in some cases I will tell where I buy things, but I always like to make myself feel better by telling them it was half off or something. Although I pay full price a lot of the times, they don’t have to know that. It makes me feel like I am being snobby. But why should women for guilty for spending money on things that they like? Final score…. 5 for Ashton and 1 for women.