I laughed, I cried, I loved - Sex and the City: The Movie

In the season finale of Sex and the City, Carrie's finale words were, "The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you you love, well that's just fabulous."

Fast forward 4 years, and we're at the movies! Did Ms. Bradshaw find her love? Is everyone truly happy? I'm not going to give too much away, just my overall thoughts. My girls and I went to see the film, along with each theater's maximum capacity at every possible hour. Sold out! Sold out was not the word for it. After going to a two theaters, we ended up at the Grove/ farmer's market. Waited in line for half an hour. Every woman there was dressed to the nines, in their stilettos, dresses and Carriesque styles. Only something this big could bring all of these women together, the long awaited film, which somehow represents all of us in one way or another, and excitement is the only word I could describe as I waited along with hundreds of others.

Fashion - Patricia Field has once again filled our minds with Manolo Blahniks, Versace, Dior and fabulous couture. Rumor has it that the fashions for this film alone costs a mere $700,000, but it could have easily costs more. My favorites from the film include, Carrie's Vivienne Westwood wedding gown, which made this pessimistic girl on big weddings, want to walk down the aisle. Best line on the dress, "Its the dress...it turned our wedding list of 75 to 201." Yes, the dress did have that much power.

Samantha's yellow, flowing cut-out dress that she wore in Mexico, which went perfect with her sun-kissed tan was another favorite of mine. The shoes, the fashions continued to fit each character to a tee. The introduction of Jennifer Hudson's character, as a southern girl moving to the big city, had her own style which surprisingly fit in perfectly with the NYC life. Labels & Love, the two reasons Carrie says women come to NYC. Since I however have already found the love, labels are most definitely a reason I go to NYC.

One movie spoiler, Mr. Big proposes with a pair of Manolo's, how perfect is that. Bravo Ms. Field, bravo on all the fashion. She knows her girls well.

Sex- Not enough sex in the film for my liking. If you're looking for the sex from the series, it is very minimal. I was surprised at Samantha's lack of sex, but I'm sure Kim Cattrall wanted to be a class act for the film. It is 4 years later after all. However, her pervertedness for her sexy, exotic looking, neighbors many sexual encounters is arousing. He had a new girl every night, and sometimes two women at a time. Now that is sexy.

Drama- There was no shortage of drama in the film. There were the typical ups and downs that the women experienced in the series. But they are wiser now, they know what to expect. And even if love has blinded them, they were quick to bounce back in the film. The one thing that threw me for a loop, is Carrie's sulking. Something that was never seen in the series. I was not at all prepared for that. It is heartbreaking seeing a strong, independent woman like her sulk. In the end, these women got exactly what they wanted. They demanded it, and let their guards down a little. Overall they showed vulnerability in their tough times, similar to the way they did series. Life is about making choices, but its also about pleasing yourself by not settling. These women did not settle, not one bit. Best line on the drama: "You two could run the world," Carrie told Miranda and Samantha.

Love- This movie shows love in every possible way. The love of one's child, one's friends and one's relationship, but it also shows the aspect of love that many go through, but don't see on a regular basis. That is fighting for the love you want and believe in. Fighting for what you care about and need and want. That is the true test of love, and these girls had to fight and struggle over the last 10 years.

Big & Carrie - their love is genuine and not for show. Their love is for themselves and they hold it close to their hearts. They are not showoffs and love should not be about showing off. Love is a private feeling, true love glows and shows whether you want it to our not. Love is not glamorous and glitzy, and Big and Carrie know that. They are the true epitome of true love.

Miranda & Steve - they reserved all of their love for their son but somehow forgot to show each other that they love one another. There are too many couples that stay together because they love their children. I understand that having kids is tough, but you can't forget what produced that child, and that is love. The love of one another.

Charlotte & Harry - love everyone. They are the giving couple. Their love crosses boundaries, religion, countries and all. They have a great balance of love for all. Balance and love should go hand and hand. Having a relationship should not be too over bearing. There needs to be balance.

Samantha & Smith Jerrod - seem to love materialistic items. They can't get past what is on the outside to reach the inside. An inadamant object is not going to love you back. That $60,000 diamond ring represents what now? Your love? Really? I don't buy it. You can't buy love, its priceless, no amount of money could ever prove someone's love for me.

All and all... I laughed, I cried and I loved. It was just perfect, not too much and not too little.

Change of a Dress

Episode 63: "Do we really want these things, or are we just programmed?"

I love that. This whole episode cracks me up, because a similar thing happened to me last Christmas. Carrie gets a rash just talking about getting married to Aidan. The best scene is when she is in the wedding gown store, and tries on a dress, she has to bust the buttons to escape it. Her whole back is red, and she starts hyperventilating. She doesn't even wear her engagement ring on her finger, she wears it on a chain around her neck. LOL!

My boyfriend and I have been together almost 6 years, so inevitably people think that we are ready to get married. We are the next in line to have this extravagant wedding. I have a news flash for everyone, I think I am allergic to the idea of getting married. Honestly, I do want to do it, just not now. Not when everyone is waiting and doing it. I don't want to fall in to the typical bridal syndrome that everyone else has fallen victim to. So anyways, he wanted to get me a ring. Yes a fucking engagement ring. I am very particular, so he is afraid of getting some thing that I might not like. So we're shopping at these different jewelry stores, and I saw one or two that I really liked. But I couldn't breathe, and all of sudden I got really hot. The whole idea of it seemed so ridiculous to me. I just kept making up excuses, that I had to use the restroom, or I needed food. I really didn't want to be there, looking for the symbol of our love. I would much rather have him find my ring and give it to me when the time is right.

Are we just programmed? I think so. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage. Our lives have been predestined for us since our childhood. I know that my life will not end up much different, but the longer I can postpone it, I will. Eventually of course we will marry, but not when everyone expects it to happen. We pretty much feel the same way about the whole thing. For some reason, everyone we know started doing it. It was like a fucking epidemic, and we couldn't handle it.

We met in a strange way, in an exotic environment, and we are not the typical couple as is. We want to do things backwards. As backwards as possible. Maybe we'll buy a house, have a baby then get married. Or just buy a house and never have the actual ceremony. Who knows? But we are far away from that. And even as I type this, I know that I will be hit hard when I'm 27 like everyone else. I'll be ready for marriage then, and that is only because I've been fucking programmed like the rest of the damn world.

The Real Me

Season 4 Episode 50

Carrie asks: "No matter how hard we look, do we ever see ourselves clearly?"

I could ask this question over and over again, and I think I will get the same answer every time. Who really sees themselves clearly? It is every woman's dream to wake up, not look in the mirror, not one time, get dressed and walk out the door and be totally content. And if you do see yourself "clearly" can you do it without pointing out the flaws that you think you have?

Ladies, we are our toughest critics. Even if your men think we are the moon and the sun, we will still beat ourselves down. I think the first step in this process, of seeing yourself clearly, is to accept whatever flaws you think you have. Write them down on a piece of paper. List them all out, you can stare in the mirror if you haven't completely memorized them by now. Once you spotted everything, take that piece of paper and light it on fire. A safe fire of course, I don't want the fire department to get mad at me.

Get rid of the paper because you don't need it. All those "flaws" are what make you unique, beautiful, special and those flaws are probably the best thing about you. Now, if you are one of those women who think they have absolutely no flaws, then I'm here to tell you, THAT is your biggest flaw.

No one is perfect, although we would all like to believe we are, it is just not true. Growing up I faced so many people who teased me. One day, when my confidence was particularly high for a 16 year old, this girl came up to me with a note. She said, "This is from that guy over there." I opened the note, and it read, "You are so ugly." HA! I can laugh now, but then I just swallowed really hard and walked away.

That was just high school, I can't even tell you what I went through in middle school. Viewing yourself clearly is a hard thing to do. But women, we need to have confidence. And not that fake confidence, where we put on a slutty dress and try to attract as many guys as we can, because that makes us feel good about ourselves. I mean true confidence. The kind that comes from the inside, and shines on the outside without you having to do anything special. The real me, right now, is a person who has her soul so wide open because even though I am unemployed at the moment I know that a job doesn't define me. Even though my boyfriend loves me more than words can express, a man doesn't define me. The real me has confidence, I walk with my head up high, because nothing can define me, but me. No matter what people think or say, they don't define me. That is the real me. Wide open and not afraid of anything in life. What about you?

Solider Suicide Rate

I just read this story that disturbed me in a way that would probably be shocking to most.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080529/ap_on_go_ca_st_pe/military_suicides_13

The suicide rate of soldiers just hit its highest rate, 115 in the last year, up from 102 in 2006. Honestly that is not the shocking part. The thing that surprised me was the reason for the suicides.

The psychiatric consultant to the Army surgeon general said that, "We see a lot of things that are going on in the war which do contribute — mainly the longtime and multiple deployments away from home, exposure to really terrifying and horrifying things, the easy availability of loaded weapons and a force that's very, very busy right now."

The exposure to really terrifying and horrifying things stood out for me, I don't know about you, but aren't these soldiers trained to be exposed to the terrifying and horrifying things? They signed up to go to war. What did they expect was going to happen? What did they think they were going to see?

I don't know if I'm being cold-hearted or if I'm misunderstanding the seriousness of this situation, but hundreds of thousands of people commit suicide each year in this country, and they are not usually the ones who signed up to protect this country.

"And so all of those together we think are part of what may contribute, especially if somebody's having difficulties already," she told a Pentagon news conference. If someone is having difficulty already, I would expect them to deal with their problems accordingly. I chose to re-do her initial response to the "shocking" suicide numbers, with more of the information from the story. Correct me if you think I am wrong.

The soldiers who committed suicide had trouble with relationships, work problems and legal and financial difficulties, add in the fact there is an easy availability of loaded weapons and there you have it. All the other things she said don't make sense to me. Those things should not lead to a solider, who signed up for the military, should have been trained and prepped on what they were going to encounter, included the multiple deployments and time away from home. Those sound like excuses. Honestly, if someone is so terrified and horrified while protecting this country, then maybe they should not be protecting this country during the time of war.

I'm just saying.

JB

Something a little different

Kieran

I went to visit my friend Kieran in the hospital (see left with his sister, my other sister Maura). He was injured playing the sport he loves the most, Lacrosse (see link if you don't know what it is: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lacrosse) . He tripped or fell, sorry the details are sketchy, on a stick and hit his neck on another player's knee. He called it a major bruise, but basically from the way he fell and how he hit his neck he might not be able to walk again. Ugh! This is so hard for me to even type out. Kieran is the most active, 22 year old around. He played lacrosse all through college, and he was just accepted to the American Film Institute. He wants to be a cinematographer. He has worked on "The Girls Next Door", he went on tour with Linkin Park, he has done so much at a young age.

I just want to let people know that you can not take your life for granted. The little things like me typing, writing with my pink pen, walking, all of these little things that I can do right now, he can not do at this moment. He has the most positive attitude though! He is so popular too, while in ICU the nurses said that he should have a bouncer for all the visitors he has. If you even knew this guy, you would totally understand why he is so popular. Even tonight, the nurses had to send us home, he had 8 visitors there in the room. That is only minimal compared to all the people who have been there in the past week. So if you were wondering why I haven't blogged in a while, this is the reason. Ever since I heard I couldn't do anything, or concentrate on anything.

I love him and his whole family. I had the chance to meet his parents today, very lovely people. The point of this is, please pray for Kieran J. Murphy. He is being moved from ICU to Northridge Hospital tomorrow to a rehabilitation center. He is already moving his left side, he just needs to work more on his right side. He was accepted to AFI, one in 1,500 people. I want him to be there, at school on August 21, walking, being able to hold his equipment and everything.

That is all for tonight.

~ JB

Sex and the City (2008) OFFICIAL TRAILER

Sex and the City: The Movie - InStyle.com

New York's most fabulous foursome bring Sex back to the city.

The Girls of Sex and the City

New York’s favorite girls brought sexy back to the Big Apple at the premiere of their long-awaited film, Sex and the City: The Movie at Radio City Music Hall. Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Cynthia Nixon and Kristin Davis hit the bright pink carpet, studded with Swarovski crystals, to kick off the film’s opening on Friday May 30. "The sexiest part about tonight is being here with all these people," said Parker, who along with her costars, glittered in a metallic gown.

-- Grace Lee

For more photos click here: http://www.instyle.com/instyle/parties/party/0,,20202753,00.html?cid=newsletter-parties

What Goes Around Comes Around

In episode 47, Carrie so graciously fills our heads by asking, “Is there such a thing as relationship karma?” Phew! That was a close one, the very thought of typing out such a question made me think the world would blow up. Relationship karma is a very loaded term. I sure hope it doesn’t exist, because then we are all in serious trouble. Karma is so strong, and for those of you who don’t know what karma has in store for you, according to many religions, it is a belief of a cause and effect type of situation. Karma can not only affect you in this lifetime, but in all future lifetimes and it can never actually be escaped. Whatever you do you should be prepared for the repercussions.

It really makes you think doesn’t it? Not only in terms of relationship, but the way you treat all living things on this earth. Karma is nothing to fuck with, because it will always come back around, full circle. Don’t worry; I won’t start preaching about repenting or anything like that. I don’t think it is ever too late to improve one’s karma. You have until your last days to improve it that is just my opinion. But we are dealing with relationship karma. I don’t think there is such a thing. Sure karma itself exists, but not when it comes to matters of the heart. It is that individual who carries that baggage and the mindset from their previous relationships that affect their current ones. People carry the karma with us, in our minds to the next relationship. If one can only escape their minds, then worry about the new relationship or else you become the victim.

This can be proven time and time again. I have a friend who takes her old relationship with her all the time, in to her new ones. Whatever bad happened before could be forgotten, but she won’t let it. That is not necessarily karma, but her being her worse enemy. All the hurt and pain from one relationship will only bring hurt and pain to another relationship. This can easily be fixed. A person needs to heal themselves before bringing that pain into their new relationship. Clear your mind, free your heart, take control of yourself and your emotions to save you in the new relationship.

My last relationship was a disaster, but my new relationship has nothing to do with the old one. That is how everyone should look at it. There is no such thing as good karma and bad karma, but there is balance. A cycle, or a circle of balance. If you leave karma to determine your fate in love, then I must ask who controls your relationships. You? Or karma?

What Goes Around Comes Around originally aired October 8, 2000. For more information on this episode click the link here: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0698699/

Sex and Another City

Episode 44 – Is it really what’s outside that counts?

This is one of my favorite episodes, when the girls are in my hometown of Los Angeles, and they go to the Playboy Mansion, Samantha gets a fake Fendi and the fake agent, I mean the house sitter played by Vince Vaughn. This episode is great, because it shows what New Yorkers really think about Los Angeles, that everything is Fake. And 8 years later, New Yorkers still think all of us Angelenos are fake. I just want to let people know, that most, over 70% (not an actual statistic, just my guestimate) of Angelenos are not originally born and raised here. I only have three friends that are actually from Los Angeles. Everyone else I know is from different states or different parts of California.

These are the people who are fake in Los Angeles; the platinum blondes, the fake breasts, the plastic surgery addicts, the distorted body image, the fake jewelry, designer handbags, tans, and everything else. Most of the actors and actresses are not from here either. Yet, people who are not native to Los Angeles assume that our city is full of this fakeness. So, is it really what’s outside which matters? How can you tell what is on the outside, if it is all fake? It is so easy for a woman to make herself appear more beautiful by adding all the ingredients of phoniness to their appearances.

I can’t defend Los Angeles too much because appearance is everything. After all we are in Hollywood, the entertainment capital of the world. A place that thrives on the beautiful, the fake and the shallow, God bless Los Angeles. There is no other place that I would want to be. L.A. is not the only city that is like this, where outer appearance is the only thing judged. Many other cities across the country value beauty as well, Miami, South Beach, New York (they value designer things, that is still a part of what makes up someone's outer appearance), just about any major city.

Beauty is what counts in this country. We make fun of what is different. That is just how our nation operates. Instead of embracing people’s awkwardness and what makes them stand out, we tease them. I am not innocent in the fact that I don’t get involved in the teasing. What makes me so perfect? Who am I to judge others? I don’t think people realize the impact of that their thoughts have on others. We are our own worse enemies. We are the reason why Americans are so shallow. Aren’t we? Who is on top? The good looking, the rich and famous and the fake, it is what is on the outside that counts, the appearance of wealth, phoniness and the upper classes. That is what runs our nation; unfortunately, what is on the outside is all that matters to the majority.

Sex and Another City originally aired September 17, 2000. For more information on this particular episode click here: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0698662/

Escape from New York

Episode 43 – Can you ever really escape your past?

In order to escape your past, you have to actually be able to remember it. I don’t really remember much of my past; I blocked most of it out. I don’t want to remember it, not because it was terrible, but because I don’t believe in remembering the past. Honestly, who really wants to remember high school? Those awkward years, all the stupid mistakes that you made, the guys you dated, etc… And now that I live closer to where I grew up, I run into people from time to time. I don’t say hi, is that mean? Who cares? It was in the past.

My boyfriend moved across the country to escape his past. He’s done a good job of keeping it where it belongs, but every time he goes back home, those old memories and feelings arise again. Science has proven, (yes science, shut up) that smells and locations can trigger certain memories in the brain. Maybe I turned off that part of my brain, because I just don’t remember a lot of things.

My boyfriend always tells me that, if you forget your past, how do you know where you are going? Your past is what shapes you as a person. As much as I try to forget my past, I know that it has shaped my perspective in life. There is no denying that fact, it has shaped me as a writer, my views on relationships now, due to the bad ones of the past. The past works in mysterious but wonderful ways.

If you don’t recognize the mistakes of your past, are you doomed to repeat it? What if you do recognize them, but the same shit keeps happening over an over again? See, these questions, are the main reason why I have decided to block out most of my past life. I like the future to be a surprise, and not an indication of my past life. Why would you want to repeat something in life? Life is all about moving forward, looking for new positive adventures. How can you look forward to something, if you are running away from something in the past, or worrying about what you did in a past life?

It is my belief that the past should stay where it belongs. Enjoying the good memories, laughing about the embarrassing moments is one thing, but dwelling on something that has already happened, is just a waste of time.

Escape from New York originally aired September 10, 2000. For more information on this episode click this link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0698632/

Drama Queens

Episode 37 – “Do we need drama to make a relationship work?”

Drama in relationships means, that the two people truly love each other, right? I used to think that without drama, there couldn’t be love. People need to fight to show love. My ex and I lived by the above theories. Drama ruled our relationship. Drama is not needed to make relationships work. They only tear people further apart. Most people only have drama in their relationship, because secretly they are not happy. They have to keep shit stirred up to make them feel like there is something worth fighting for. I will be the first to admit that woman keep the drama going in their relationships. Making up stories, trying to catch their boyfriends cheating or trying to set up their boyfriends to cheat; women are the culprits of drama.

Relationship drama is a result of unhappiness. Drama is just an excuse to break up with someone. Drama doesn’t not make relationship works, it seems more like a cop-op to me. Just break up with the person, don’t make up things to keep drama going. Drama is stressful; it only makes things worse when you finally grow some to dump the person. Once you start it, you can’t stop it.

Its like a drug, it is bad for you, but you want it and once you get a taste you’re addicted. Just put down the pipe, and walk away from the drama.

Drama Queens originally aired July 23, 2000. For more information on the episode click the link below: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0698630/

Where There’s Smoke…

Season 3: Episode 31 – Carrie wondered, “Do women just want to be rescued?”

Of course women want to be rescued. It is ingrained in us from the time we were all young. I blame the fairy tales and Disney movies; they taught us that all women just want to be rescued. We learned about fairy tales at a young age, take Rapunzel for example. She had to be rescued, and only a particular guy could come save her. According to this story, women just need a man to come save them.

Could these tales have anything to do with why women want to be rescued? As a teenager, I just wanted to be rescued from my parent’s house. I wanted my boyfriend to come rescue me from my “hell” at home. We all wanted to leave, rebel against our parents, the first person who could save us, was usually our boyfriends.

In some cases, women needed to then be rescued from their boyfriends, but that is another story. Women are constantly in need of being rescued, but why does a man have to be the one to rescue us? Why can’t we rescue ourselves? A straight male says, “Only women who are insecure want to be rescued.” Considering the amount of insecure women, there must be millions who need to be rescued. A friend of mine recently was in need of being rescued, but of course she relied on a man to do it for her. Since then she has been left a lone and jobless. She needs to rescue herself now, because relying on a man to do it, only led to abandonment.

An optimist might say that being rescued is romantic. Prince Charming can come sweep you off your feet any day, and save you. But I say, when it comes to being rescued, I rather be left out there to die, or drown or whatever the case may be.

Where There's Smoke originally aired June 4, 2000. For more information on the episode click on the link below:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0698701/

The Return of Sex and the City - Elle.com

By Tracey Lomrantz

They made caftans cool, established the re-emergence of the fanny pack, and turned Manolo Blahnik into a household name. They exposed midriffs while raising eyebrows. They dropped $3,000 on a single handbag. They punctuated their wardrobes with muskrat fur and cowboy hats the way most women use pearls and pumps. And they certainly never treated “risk” as a four-letter word.

The sartorial feats achieved by costume designers Pat Field and Rebecca Weinberg, along with the cast members they dressed on Sex and the City during its highly influential six-season run were not only staggering, they spawned an unstoppable machine of economic, cultural, and social trends that still very much matter today. From nameplate necklaces to exposed bra straps, SATC had a hand in creating some of the biggest fashion statements of the past 10 years—and when the feature film is released on May 30, it’s impossible not to imagine a flock of Sex-ettes queued up to get their hands on the next generation of It Items it’s bound to ignite.

The film circles back to many of the series’s common fashion themes (oversize flowers, menswear, status shoes and bags), reaffirming its sense of import in the current style landscape. “I had no idea from a wardrobe aspect what kind of influence it would have,” says costume designer Rebecca Weinberg, who worked on the show alongside Field from 1999-2001. “But in the ‘90s we were the first program where style really was a key element.”

In reality, style was a “key element” to the series the way water is a “key element” to the Pacific Ocean. “In terms of the series, fashion didn’t just reflect the zeitgeist, it actually influenced it as well,” says Valerie Steele, fashion historian and director of the Museum at the Fashion Institute of Technology. “It really validated people’s love of fashion. Even people who weren’t going to spend $500 on a pair of shoes suddenly became very aware of Manolo and Choo and the whole concept of luxury.”

Luxury certainly had a prominent place on the show in the dot-com-rich early ‘00s (the Fendi baguette, the fur coat, the Oscar de la Renta dress), but one of SATC’s most enduring legacies is the so-called high-low mix that’s highly prized by the fashion community. “We would mix high end luxury stuff with literally thrift store finds,” Weinberg says of Carrie’s wardrobe in particular. “It’s just the way we dress in real life, relying on sample sales and vintage pieces and little finds here and there.” One of the most memorable looks from the show, the tulle skirt that Sarah Jessica Parker wears in the opening sequence, was a $5 vintage piece plucked from the starlet’s own closet (reportedly a move on HBO’s part to maintain an air of timelessness, as they knew the sequence wouldn’t change throughout the show’s lifetime).

And while the women of SATC may change men and trends as frequently as their knickers, Steele says she thinks the style on both the series and the film will age rather well. “I think it will be a fabulous time capsule,” she says. “I’d like to imagine watching it again in 25 years and I think it will really hold up.” That’s good news for Parker—since her first day on set, her contract has stipulated that she has the privilege to keep every piece she’s ever worn during filming.

Though some of the show’s trends may be rather regrettable (“Gloves always look so silly—they just remind me of trying too hard,” Weinberg says of the season six accessory fascination. “I got so sick of them!”), it could never be accused of being boring. With Carrie and company’s risks came some genuine mistakes, lending them an air not just of sophistication but of accessibility. Television shows have certainly left their imprint on the fashion climate over the years (click here to see our top 20 favorites), but none will ever have the same allure as Sex.

Old Dog, New Dicks

Episode 21: Can you change a man? LOL! I just have to be blunt for a second, pull a Samantha. You can change a man if the sex is good. If you can keep him satisfied. Oh hell, if you can fuck his brains out on a regular basis. A man will do just about anything if his dick is happy. I’m sure you may be surprised by my vulgarities, but come on, it is SATC. You have to be able to expect the unexpected when dealing with a show such as this.

I think a lot of men fight against being changed. But when you get under someone’s skin, or they love you uncontrollably, you can definitely change them. The true question is why would you change your man? If you made the choice to date that person, you knew how they were before things got serious. I love hearing women say that they can change their men. Why not find the person who is right for you? Or what’s wrong with loving them for who they already are?

I think the problem with women is that we are naturally so motherly, and caring that we believe we are helping men. Making them better…when in actuality we are forcing them to loose their identity by becoming some god damned perfect Ken doll. People are not perfect, we were not meant to be, so changing a man will not make him love you more. In fact he could end up secretly hating you. If you find it absolutely necessary to change a man, so he fits your needs, maybe you should take a look in the mirror first. A lot of times, the changes we project on to our men are the ones we want to make for ourselves. But it is so much easier to change someone else? Don’t get me wrong, some men have bad habits, and are in need of help. There are many ways to help people without drastically changing them. Change can be a good thing, if it is done in a healthy way. Sometimes people want to change but don’t know how. Whatever the case may be, you have to let your man decide the changes he may want make on his own. It is better to not impose too much on the changes our men decide to make.

I’m a firm believer in letting people be themselves; especially when it comes to relationships. Women, lets face facts, you can’t make your man’s decisions for them, if so then you don’t have much of a man at the end of the day. You have pussy, and ladies, you don’t want two pussies sleeping under the same roof. Or do you?

Old Dog, New Dicks originally aired August 1, 1999. For more information on the episode click on the link below:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0698653/

The Cheating Curve

Season Two: In episode 18, Carrie couldn’t help but wonder; what constitutes as cheating? SATC took cheating to another level. Obviously as women, we know what constitutes as cheating, whether we’ve cheated on our men or they have cheated on us, I don’t have to explain what cheating is. Many people believe that cheating can only happen if that person is in a monogamous female-male relationship. However, in this particular episode, Carrie felt like she cheated on her friends with Mr. Big. We are forced to view cheating, an otherwise unacceptable behavior in a different way. Can friends cheat on friends with their boyfriends? Of course you can. If you are committed, you are guilty of abandoning your friends for your man. Don’t tell me that you have never done it. I have cheated, and I’m not afraid to admit it. When you get caught up in a new relationship, you want to spend all of your time with that person. You see your friends all the time, plus they can’t satisfy you like your man can. I say it is okay to cheat sometimes, but don’t blow off your friends all the time. If your man is a good man, secure, trusting and loving, as mine is, you should be able to spend as much time with your friends as you would like. The best thing to remember is that your friends were there for you before your new found relationship, and if they are good friends they will be there after the whole thing blows up in your face. Friends should be supportive of your choices and not make you feel like shit when you do decide to cheat.

When I first started dating my boyfriend, six years ago, I wouldn’t even think about my friends when I blew them off to be with him. He is my number one, and they needed to understand that, at least that is what I thought. But now that we have been leaving together and I see him all the time, I realize that my friends are more important to my life than ever before. My best friend is in a new relationship, and when I want to hang out, and she tells me that she is with her man, I completely understand. I can’t get mad at her for wanted to be with her boyfriend. There has to be some give in take when it comes to cheating. You should be able to let your friends know how important it is to develop your relationship, without jeopardizes your friendship. Equally important, you have got to schedule in time for your girls. Girls night out is an imperative part of being a woman. If you only stay home with your man, chances are you’ll end up resenting each other later when your friends start really bitching at you for cheating on them. In the words of my mother, Boys will come and go, but good friends are forever. Now to practice what I preach :)

The Cheating Curve originally aired July 11, 1999. For more information on the episode click on the link below:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0698675/

Quotes from the episode:

Carrie: Someone's definition of what constitutes cheating is in direct proportion to how much they themselves want to cheat.
Miranda: That's moral relativism.
Carrie: I prefer to think of it as quantum cheating.

Models and Mortals

In episode two, Carrie contemplates; “If models could cause otherwise rational individuals to crumble in their presence, exactly how powerful was beauty?” I just have to say that I love watching this episode, because in the nineties models were on the covers of magazines. Now good looking actresses and actors dominate the covers, reality stars are walking the runways of fashion week, and the models are stuck judging reality shows that all women obsess over. America’s Next Top Model, Project Runway, and The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, just to name a few.

In the 90’s it seems like men obsessed over models. The women they deemed worthy enough to have calendars of were not the Scarlett Johanssons, Paris Hiltons or Kim Khardasian’s of this generation. I feel sorry for the younger generation that will never know what it was like to have a Christy Turlington, Linda Evangelista, Cindy Crawford, Naomi Campbell, Elle MacPherson, Tyra Banks, or Claudia Schiffer on the covers of their magazines.

Personally, when I am in a room with a beautiful person, I can’t stop starring at them. There is something about beauty. It can be absolutely breathtaking, beauty can leave you speechless. Whether it is a beautiful man or woman, the way they look is a very powerful thing. Beautiful people usually know how powerful they are, so they try to use it to their advantage. Being beautiful is like having an American Express black card, you know the ones with no spending limit, you can get just about anything. To answer Ms. Bradshaw’s question, beauty is almost as powerful as having money in our very shallow society.

A male’s perspective on what is powerful in our society; “Beauty is ranked as #3 following a person’s social status (#2) and being rich as the topper (#1).

I pose my own question from this information, that I myself am shocked that I wrote; why is beauty so powerful?

Models and Mortals originally aired June 6, 1998. For more information on the episode click on the link below:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0698649/

Bay of Married Pigs

In episode three, Carrie wondered; “Is there a secret cold war between marrieds and singles?” Although Ms. Bradshaw had these thoughts 10 years ago, the question can definitely still be asked today. I believe there is a Cold war between the two. Married couples seem to want to avoid single people at all cost, as if they are diseased. Once couples marry they are all of a sudden segregated from any and all other people, unless they are also married. When couples marry, things change, no one can understand unless they too are married. Friends that you were able to just stop by their house to hang out anytime, without calling now say, “We’re married now, you can’t just come by unannounced.” People who would be out at the bars every Friday night are now saying, “My husband and/or wife just wants to stay home and play card games or board games,” or “married people can’t go to bars.” What does that even mean? And I know you’re married now; I was at the freaking wedding…so we can’t hang out or talk because of it. All of sudden you can’t have fun anymore? I start wondered why people say things won’t change once they get married, when in fact they do change. People act different once they’re married. I don’t know if it’s just the title of “marriage” that makes people not want to hang out with their single friends or family members. The worse is when your married friends start judging you for being single, and judging your choices in life because you are single. “We could never spend $3500 on a television; we’re married now, etc…” You get my point. Being married is like being apart of an exclusive club, where you can’t join without spending $20,000 on a bullshit wedding. If that is the only way that I can have my married friends, then I think I will have to let them go for the time being. I have a few friends who got married within the last year and they have definitely changed. I understand the honeymoon stage that people want to be alone and all, but does that mean you can’t even talk to your single friends, to say hi, how are you doing? How is life? Singles are FORGOTTEN. A lot of my single friends feel ignored, and isolated from our married friends. My solution is for all the single friends to get together and form our own exclusive club, we will more than likely out number the marrieds, and we can kidnap and lynch them. I’m just joking… :) Marrieds probably feel like they need to play the role of an adult, like their parents, who don’t associate with single people that often. So until the day I decide to get married, I will have to do with being ignored. I can’t remember now if Carrie found a solution to her problem, but mine is: Singles and marrieds just can’t mingle.

Bay of Married Pigs originally aired June 21, 1998. For more information on the episode click on the link below which will take you to Imdb.com

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0698618/

Sex and the City

In honor of the May 30^th release of ‘Sex and the City,’ Entertainment Weekly has done a heavenly thing; they have devoted a special double issue, 63 effin’ pages, for the fans of ‘Sex.’ EW is now God in my eyes. If you’re a fan, as I am, you must pick up the May 23^rd issue of EW ASAP. Ladies, grab your binoculars, we are going sightseeing, EW has included a map of the city that shows where parts of the film and certain episodes were filmed. There is even a prop guide, which explains some of your favorite hot items from the series, including those Manolo Blahnik’s when Carrie became “fashion roadkill” when she was a "model," and Carrie’s infamous tutu from the opening scene when she is splashed with water from the bus with her face on it. EW also informs fans of the overall story line, that of which will be fantastic, for the movie, the magazine has broken down every single episode for your reading pleasure. From the brilliance of season one, which originally aired in 1998, to the very last episode in 2004, where fans left off with Carrie walking those famous streets of NYC, on the phone with John, b.k.a. Mr. Big. EW not only gave a synopsis of the episodes, but they decided to have some fun, by telling the readers what Carrie contemplated in each and every episode, and put the best sound bite or quote from that particular episode. For example; in episode one, properly titled, “Sex and the City,” Carrie wonders, Why are there so many great unmarried women and no great unmarried men? And for the best sound bite, is from Mr. Big to Carrie when she asks him if he has ever been in love, Absofuckinlutely. It’s the most perfect word ever spoken the whole season, in my opinion, and he says it again in the very last episode when she invites him upstairs, after Mr. Big rescues her from Paris.

With all of this information that I have just given you, and because I am head over heels excited about SATC, I have decided to dedicate my blog until May 30^th to the series and film. I would like to use what Carrie contemplates from select episodes from all 6 seasons to find if women are still contemplating the same things 10 years later, and so on.

SATC fans enjoy!

The Rules of Attraction

In the May issue of Harper’s Bazaar, Ashton Kutcher listed out what makes women desirable based on what they shouldn’t do. Ashton is a frequent guest writer for Harper’s, I’ve read all of the stories he has written for them, and I must say that men should definitely read what he has to say. He gives great advice…great fashion advice. He breaks things down in a way that is so simple and easy to follow, even for the slowest man. So I will list out what he said, not verbatim, but the idea of it…and put his theories to the test.

1. Common Scents – This is for all the women who wear too much perfume and can be detected before they come around the corner. Ashton says, “If I can smell your perfume and we’re not making you, you’re wearing too much.” I’m pretty sure most men will agree with what Ashton has to say about perfume. Personally, I like to just use a dab or two behind the ear, and a dab on the wrists. But I have tested out this wearing too much perfume theory at work…and this guy told me, in a very sarcastic to, “Do you think you have enough perfume on?” So that is one point for Ashton and zero for women.
2. Trash Talking – For the women that like to talk shit about each other. Ashton says, “People who speak negatively about others attract the same in kind, and I don’t want to be near it.” I agree with him on this as well. I tested this one on my one of my friends, and he didn’t seem to mind the gossip…he’s straight. I talked shit about other women, people that we both know and family members. He didn’t engage in the gossip, meaning he didn’t talk shit with me, but he listened and laughed. My conclusion to this particular situation was that he honestly didn’t want to hear me talk about those people. It is imperative for people to remain positive, but women have to be extra positive because there are so many stereotypes placed on us. Ashton is just bringing up what makes women unattractive based on those stereotypes…two for Ashton and zero for women.
3. Truth In Advertising – Women, I think we lost this one from the first word…truth. Ashton says, “Dress how you want to be treated. If you show respect for yourself, you will be respected.” How many times have we heard this one? If you dress like a slut, you will be treated like a slut. If you show some cleavage then men will pay more attention to you. Personally, I show as little as possible on a day to day basis, but when it is time to get dressed up, I will wear knee length, sexy dress. But I don’t regularly try to dress sexy; I think women should be comfortable in their own skin. I can’t speak on experience, but I know a lot of girls who go out of their way to dress like a slut. Of course it works on many men at bars or clubs…but then what happens after a few drinks, the guy automatically thinks you are easy. Women need to respect themselves at all costs. Three for Ashton, zero for women.
4. Jewelry Junkies – For the women that like to wear all their jewelry at one time, is it really necessary. I don’t even think married women should where their engagement rings on a daily basis with their wedding band. Ashton says, “Women who wear big blingin’ stones don’t look like they have a lot of money; they look like they have a lot of someone else’s money.” Wow is all I can say. There was this girl who I used to work with, who had a Cartier wedding band with the eternity diamonds. The first time I saw her wearing her engagement diamond, that had to be 5 carats or more I thought her husband must me rich. Although that was the only thing she wore along with her $60,000 Cartier watch, I was never for a second impressed. All of that jewelry even turned me off. Who wears things like that to work? To type on a computer all day? Never made any sense to me, but she wore it every day. I own a lot of jewelry, but I wear the same pieces every day, a necklace and a ring. I’m not sure how many men pay attention to those things, but from a few guys that I know they just think that the woman is a gold digger. Four for Ashton, zero for women.
5. Like Attracts Like – This is about appreciation and not being selfish. I think men perceive women as being selfish depending on their outward appearance. They automatically think that if a woman dresses really nice and appears to take care of herself then she is really selfish. Ashton says, “Women who focus on what they don’t have are unattractive and attract unattractive people.” I wouldn’t say that I focus entirely on things that I don’t have but I usually want things. I am definitely satisfied and happy with my life right now and the things that I have, but who doesn’t want more? I don’t think there is anything wrong with striving for more in life. I think there are some boundaries that women can and should set. However, I like to take care of myself, I get my hair done EVERY week, I like to shop, but I also like to keep myself looking good for my man. Maybe there is a difference between constantly wanted more and just obtaining more for yourself. In any case that is 4 ½ for Ashton, and ½ for women.
6. Brand Dropping – Last but not least the broadcasting of labels. I am all for shopping at designer stores and purchasing the semi-expensive clothes, whatever is in my price range, but I definitely HATE when women drop names. Ashton says, “Broadcasting labels to make people appreciate your style is not becoming.” My counter argument to that is when other women complement you and ask where you purchased your outfit. Normally I don’t like to tell, because I don’t want people to look like me, or go out and purchase the same thing as me. So in some cases I will tell where I buy things, but I always like to make myself feel better by telling them it was half off or something. Although I pay full price a lot of the times, they don’t have to know that. It makes me feel like I am being snobby. But why should women for guilty for spending money on things that they like? Final score…. 5 for Ashton and 1 for women.

Mall Madness

Today I went to the new Americana at Brand in Glendale. I must say that it sucked. Not only did it look similar to the Farmer's Market/ Grove and 3rd in LA...but many of the stores that I wanted to go to were not opened yet. Don't waste your time going...Kitson and Ed Hardy are not opened. Although the Fox 11 News advertised those particular stores, you will be disappointed if those are your favorite stores.

The mall looked really fancy, but looks can be deceiving. I know that the architect is the same, but couldn't he think of something different. He could have designed something that reflects the Glendale culture better. I felt like I was in Las Vegas for a second, and then when I got to the end all I saw was the crappy, dirty brick building that is the Glendale Galleria.

At least at the Grove when it comes to an end or corner it loops back around to some other stores...but this mall just ended at the street level which made me think how unsafe the mall would be if I lived there. I never understood who would want to live at the mall in the first place, with all the businesses below and surrounding you would never get to sleep in on the weekends.

Another thing that annoyed me at Americana was all the workers. I know the developers said because of this mall they were employing some hundreds of thousands of people but what will happen is eventually when they can't sell those $700,000 condos and they still have to pay rent on the property, all of those people will be laid off.

My last rant about this place is the parking. I went on a Friday afternoon, right after high school students were getting out of school, and the parking lot was empty. However the parking attendants who were just standing around, "directing" traffic wouldn't allow me to park in the open spaces for whatever reason. Not only did I have to park far from the elevators, once I got out to walk towards the elevators there were no signs directing people to exit the parking structure. When leaving, be sure to go to the correct kiosk to pay, because two of them allow credit cards and only one allows cash. The attendant who is in charge of the parking kiosks doesn't tell you which ones are which, considering they all look the same. So I inserted my parking ticket in to the one that only accepts credit cards, and it told me my fee was $3.00, but I wanted to pay cash. So by the time I canceled the transaction, inserted the ticket into the one that accepts cash my fee went up to $5.00. How you may be thinking? It took less than one minute for me to do this, and I was charged an extra $2.00. When I looked at the attendant to find out why this happened, he simply turned his head as if he didn't hear what I had to say. I thought as I walked away that he would be getting laid off by the end of the summer anyways, so they could have my extra $2.00.

Shoe Whore

One of my favorite pastimes is to go to Elle.com/shopping and view the latest fashions and shoes. From Missoni to Jimmy Choo, Elle’s site has it all. As the shoes flash across the screen displaying the bright yellows, pinks, wedges, gladiators and all, I began to think about the shoes I have in my own closet. None as extravagant as these…but I do have a lot of shoes. 48 pair to be exact. When did Jelly’s come back in style…sorry saw some Michael Kors blue jellies flash across the screen. What was I saying…yes Shoes. Although I can’t afford the latest Louis Vuitton, Celine or Marc Jacobs I think I have a good collection for a girl my age, on my budget…which is currently unemployed :) Like any twenty something year old I have the basic black peep toe pumps, Jessica Simpson brand…oh those Christian Dior’s…the ones with the studded heel and the D charm that drops around the ankle, which comes in Black, demin baby blue and white…those are just the colors I’ve seen them in. So hard to concentrate on what is in my closet with the screen of Dolce & Gabbana gladiators.

Focus….in addition to the black patent leather peep toe pumps, I have some Mary Jane black suede peep toes from Nine West. Those are my babies…only wore them three times since I bought them last Fall. Any shoe closet is not complete without those pairs of shoes that you never seem to wear, but you bought them. Or those special occasions shoes. For instance I bought a pair of satin, sling back strappy sandals in an oatmeal peach color from BCBG that I wore to a wedding last September. I will wear them again…one day. Some others that are my absolute faves are my riding style/ pirate style black boots that are just below the knee from Nine West. Those shoes were a hassle to get. I almost got arrested for them. I saw them on the Macy’s website when I was shopping for clothes/shoes before my Christmas trip to NYC…we were staying by Rockefeller center, walking distance from 5th Ave. So I had to had to get everything perfect. Anyways, my boyfriend said he would buy them for me as a present…so while I was in one of my night classes I went to the site, and decided to just get them. So my boyfriend text me his CC# and I went to purchase them. Unfortunately for me Macy’s has all these rules that zipcodes and phone numbers need to match with the credit card numbers. Little did I know the billing address for this particular credit card was at my BF’s parent’s house in NYC. So Macy’s contacted his credit card company which froze my purchase and wouldn’t allow me, by name, to order anything from their site until the matter was cleared up.

I was afraid to tell him what happened, but at the same time I wanted my boots. The next day when he was at work I tried to call Macy’s to clear up the misunderstanding, and since I am not the cc holder, no my name is not Mrs. Rossi...that made the situation even worse because they thought it was stolen. So I called him at work on 3-way (can you tell I really wanted these boots?), he was in a meeting by the way, and tried to explain everything to him in 15 seconds so he could make it all better. I just wanted my $300 pair of boots. The matter was cleared up, thankfully and I didn’t get arrested for trying to use a stolen credit card. The things us women do for shoes. Now back to Elle’s shoe fashion show…ooohhh Prada, Nine West, Armani, Lanvin…shoes….drooling.