The Cheating Curve

Season Two: In episode 18, Carrie couldn’t help but wonder; what constitutes as cheating? SATC took cheating to another level. Obviously as women, we know what constitutes as cheating, whether we’ve cheated on our men or they have cheated on us, I don’t have to explain what cheating is. Many people believe that cheating can only happen if that person is in a monogamous female-male relationship. However, in this particular episode, Carrie felt like she cheated on her friends with Mr. Big. We are forced to view cheating, an otherwise unacceptable behavior in a different way. Can friends cheat on friends with their boyfriends? Of course you can. If you are committed, you are guilty of abandoning your friends for your man. Don’t tell me that you have never done it. I have cheated, and I’m not afraid to admit it. When you get caught up in a new relationship, you want to spend all of your time with that person. You see your friends all the time, plus they can’t satisfy you like your man can. I say it is okay to cheat sometimes, but don’t blow off your friends all the time. If your man is a good man, secure, trusting and loving, as mine is, you should be able to spend as much time with your friends as you would like. The best thing to remember is that your friends were there for you before your new found relationship, and if they are good friends they will be there after the whole thing blows up in your face. Friends should be supportive of your choices and not make you feel like shit when you do decide to cheat.

When I first started dating my boyfriend, six years ago, I wouldn’t even think about my friends when I blew them off to be with him. He is my number one, and they needed to understand that, at least that is what I thought. But now that we have been leaving together and I see him all the time, I realize that my friends are more important to my life than ever before. My best friend is in a new relationship, and when I want to hang out, and she tells me that she is with her man, I completely understand. I can’t get mad at her for wanted to be with her boyfriend. There has to be some give in take when it comes to cheating. You should be able to let your friends know how important it is to develop your relationship, without jeopardizes your friendship. Equally important, you have got to schedule in time for your girls. Girls night out is an imperative part of being a woman. If you only stay home with your man, chances are you’ll end up resenting each other later when your friends start really bitching at you for cheating on them. In the words of my mother, Boys will come and go, but good friends are forever. Now to practice what I preach :)

The Cheating Curve originally aired July 11, 1999. For more information on the episode click on the link below:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0698675/

Quotes from the episode:

Carrie: Someone's definition of what constitutes cheating is in direct proportion to how much they themselves want to cheat.
Miranda: That's moral relativism.
Carrie: I prefer to think of it as quantum cheating.

Models and Mortals

In episode two, Carrie contemplates; “If models could cause otherwise rational individuals to crumble in their presence, exactly how powerful was beauty?” I just have to say that I love watching this episode, because in the nineties models were on the covers of magazines. Now good looking actresses and actors dominate the covers, reality stars are walking the runways of fashion week, and the models are stuck judging reality shows that all women obsess over. America’s Next Top Model, Project Runway, and The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, just to name a few.

In the 90’s it seems like men obsessed over models. The women they deemed worthy enough to have calendars of were not the Scarlett Johanssons, Paris Hiltons or Kim Khardasian’s of this generation. I feel sorry for the younger generation that will never know what it was like to have a Christy Turlington, Linda Evangelista, Cindy Crawford, Naomi Campbell, Elle MacPherson, Tyra Banks, or Claudia Schiffer on the covers of their magazines.

Personally, when I am in a room with a beautiful person, I can’t stop starring at them. There is something about beauty. It can be absolutely breathtaking, beauty can leave you speechless. Whether it is a beautiful man or woman, the way they look is a very powerful thing. Beautiful people usually know how powerful they are, so they try to use it to their advantage. Being beautiful is like having an American Express black card, you know the ones with no spending limit, you can get just about anything. To answer Ms. Bradshaw’s question, beauty is almost as powerful as having money in our very shallow society.

A male’s perspective on what is powerful in our society; “Beauty is ranked as #3 following a person’s social status (#2) and being rich as the topper (#1).

I pose my own question from this information, that I myself am shocked that I wrote; why is beauty so powerful?

Models and Mortals originally aired June 6, 1998. For more information on the episode click on the link below:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0698649/

Bay of Married Pigs

In episode three, Carrie wondered; “Is there a secret cold war between marrieds and singles?” Although Ms. Bradshaw had these thoughts 10 years ago, the question can definitely still be asked today. I believe there is a Cold war between the two. Married couples seem to want to avoid single people at all cost, as if they are diseased. Once couples marry they are all of a sudden segregated from any and all other people, unless they are also married. When couples marry, things change, no one can understand unless they too are married. Friends that you were able to just stop by their house to hang out anytime, without calling now say, “We’re married now, you can’t just come by unannounced.” People who would be out at the bars every Friday night are now saying, “My husband and/or wife just wants to stay home and play card games or board games,” or “married people can’t go to bars.” What does that even mean? And I know you’re married now; I was at the freaking wedding…so we can’t hang out or talk because of it. All of sudden you can’t have fun anymore? I start wondered why people say things won’t change once they get married, when in fact they do change. People act different once they’re married. I don’t know if it’s just the title of “marriage” that makes people not want to hang out with their single friends or family members. The worse is when your married friends start judging you for being single, and judging your choices in life because you are single. “We could never spend $3500 on a television; we’re married now, etc…” You get my point. Being married is like being apart of an exclusive club, where you can’t join without spending $20,000 on a bullshit wedding. If that is the only way that I can have my married friends, then I think I will have to let them go for the time being. I have a few friends who got married within the last year and they have definitely changed. I understand the honeymoon stage that people want to be alone and all, but does that mean you can’t even talk to your single friends, to say hi, how are you doing? How is life? Singles are FORGOTTEN. A lot of my single friends feel ignored, and isolated from our married friends. My solution is for all the single friends to get together and form our own exclusive club, we will more than likely out number the marrieds, and we can kidnap and lynch them. I’m just joking… :) Marrieds probably feel like they need to play the role of an adult, like their parents, who don’t associate with single people that often. So until the day I decide to get married, I will have to do with being ignored. I can’t remember now if Carrie found a solution to her problem, but mine is: Singles and marrieds just can’t mingle.

Bay of Married Pigs originally aired June 21, 1998. For more information on the episode click on the link below which will take you to Imdb.com

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0698618/

Sex and the City

In honor of the May 30^th release of ‘Sex and the City,’ Entertainment Weekly has done a heavenly thing; they have devoted a special double issue, 63 effin’ pages, for the fans of ‘Sex.’ EW is now God in my eyes. If you’re a fan, as I am, you must pick up the May 23^rd issue of EW ASAP. Ladies, grab your binoculars, we are going sightseeing, EW has included a map of the city that shows where parts of the film and certain episodes were filmed. There is even a prop guide, which explains some of your favorite hot items from the series, including those Manolo Blahnik’s when Carrie became “fashion roadkill” when she was a "model," and Carrie’s infamous tutu from the opening scene when she is splashed with water from the bus with her face on it. EW also informs fans of the overall story line, that of which will be fantastic, for the movie, the magazine has broken down every single episode for your reading pleasure. From the brilliance of season one, which originally aired in 1998, to the very last episode in 2004, where fans left off with Carrie walking those famous streets of NYC, on the phone with John, b.k.a. Mr. Big. EW not only gave a synopsis of the episodes, but they decided to have some fun, by telling the readers what Carrie contemplated in each and every episode, and put the best sound bite or quote from that particular episode. For example; in episode one, properly titled, “Sex and the City,” Carrie wonders, Why are there so many great unmarried women and no great unmarried men? And for the best sound bite, is from Mr. Big to Carrie when she asks him if he has ever been in love, Absofuckinlutely. It’s the most perfect word ever spoken the whole season, in my opinion, and he says it again in the very last episode when she invites him upstairs, after Mr. Big rescues her from Paris.

With all of this information that I have just given you, and because I am head over heels excited about SATC, I have decided to dedicate my blog until May 30^th to the series and film. I would like to use what Carrie contemplates from select episodes from all 6 seasons to find if women are still contemplating the same things 10 years later, and so on.

SATC fans enjoy!

The Rules of Attraction

In the May issue of Harper’s Bazaar, Ashton Kutcher listed out what makes women desirable based on what they shouldn’t do. Ashton is a frequent guest writer for Harper’s, I’ve read all of the stories he has written for them, and I must say that men should definitely read what he has to say. He gives great advice…great fashion advice. He breaks things down in a way that is so simple and easy to follow, even for the slowest man. So I will list out what he said, not verbatim, but the idea of it…and put his theories to the test.

1. Common Scents – This is for all the women who wear too much perfume and can be detected before they come around the corner. Ashton says, “If I can smell your perfume and we’re not making you, you’re wearing too much.” I’m pretty sure most men will agree with what Ashton has to say about perfume. Personally, I like to just use a dab or two behind the ear, and a dab on the wrists. But I have tested out this wearing too much perfume theory at work…and this guy told me, in a very sarcastic to, “Do you think you have enough perfume on?” So that is one point for Ashton and zero for women.
2. Trash Talking – For the women that like to talk shit about each other. Ashton says, “People who speak negatively about others attract the same in kind, and I don’t want to be near it.” I agree with him on this as well. I tested this one on my one of my friends, and he didn’t seem to mind the gossip…he’s straight. I talked shit about other women, people that we both know and family members. He didn’t engage in the gossip, meaning he didn’t talk shit with me, but he listened and laughed. My conclusion to this particular situation was that he honestly didn’t want to hear me talk about those people. It is imperative for people to remain positive, but women have to be extra positive because there are so many stereotypes placed on us. Ashton is just bringing up what makes women unattractive based on those stereotypes…two for Ashton and zero for women.
3. Truth In Advertising – Women, I think we lost this one from the first word…truth. Ashton says, “Dress how you want to be treated. If you show respect for yourself, you will be respected.” How many times have we heard this one? If you dress like a slut, you will be treated like a slut. If you show some cleavage then men will pay more attention to you. Personally, I show as little as possible on a day to day basis, but when it is time to get dressed up, I will wear knee length, sexy dress. But I don’t regularly try to dress sexy; I think women should be comfortable in their own skin. I can’t speak on experience, but I know a lot of girls who go out of their way to dress like a slut. Of course it works on many men at bars or clubs…but then what happens after a few drinks, the guy automatically thinks you are easy. Women need to respect themselves at all costs. Three for Ashton, zero for women.
4. Jewelry Junkies – For the women that like to wear all their jewelry at one time, is it really necessary. I don’t even think married women should where their engagement rings on a daily basis with their wedding band. Ashton says, “Women who wear big blingin’ stones don’t look like they have a lot of money; they look like they have a lot of someone else’s money.” Wow is all I can say. There was this girl who I used to work with, who had a Cartier wedding band with the eternity diamonds. The first time I saw her wearing her engagement diamond, that had to be 5 carats or more I thought her husband must me rich. Although that was the only thing she wore along with her $60,000 Cartier watch, I was never for a second impressed. All of that jewelry even turned me off. Who wears things like that to work? To type on a computer all day? Never made any sense to me, but she wore it every day. I own a lot of jewelry, but I wear the same pieces every day, a necklace and a ring. I’m not sure how many men pay attention to those things, but from a few guys that I know they just think that the woman is a gold digger. Four for Ashton, zero for women.
5. Like Attracts Like – This is about appreciation and not being selfish. I think men perceive women as being selfish depending on their outward appearance. They automatically think that if a woman dresses really nice and appears to take care of herself then she is really selfish. Ashton says, “Women who focus on what they don’t have are unattractive and attract unattractive people.” I wouldn’t say that I focus entirely on things that I don’t have but I usually want things. I am definitely satisfied and happy with my life right now and the things that I have, but who doesn’t want more? I don’t think there is anything wrong with striving for more in life. I think there are some boundaries that women can and should set. However, I like to take care of myself, I get my hair done EVERY week, I like to shop, but I also like to keep myself looking good for my man. Maybe there is a difference between constantly wanted more and just obtaining more for yourself. In any case that is 4 ½ for Ashton, and ½ for women.
6. Brand Dropping – Last but not least the broadcasting of labels. I am all for shopping at designer stores and purchasing the semi-expensive clothes, whatever is in my price range, but I definitely HATE when women drop names. Ashton says, “Broadcasting labels to make people appreciate your style is not becoming.” My counter argument to that is when other women complement you and ask where you purchased your outfit. Normally I don’t like to tell, because I don’t want people to look like me, or go out and purchase the same thing as me. So in some cases I will tell where I buy things, but I always like to make myself feel better by telling them it was half off or something. Although I pay full price a lot of the times, they don’t have to know that. It makes me feel like I am being snobby. But why should women for guilty for spending money on things that they like? Final score…. 5 for Ashton and 1 for women.

Mall Madness

Today I went to the new Americana at Brand in Glendale. I must say that it sucked. Not only did it look similar to the Farmer's Market/ Grove and 3rd in LA...but many of the stores that I wanted to go to were not opened yet. Don't waste your time going...Kitson and Ed Hardy are not opened. Although the Fox 11 News advertised those particular stores, you will be disappointed if those are your favorite stores.

The mall looked really fancy, but looks can be deceiving. I know that the architect is the same, but couldn't he think of something different. He could have designed something that reflects the Glendale culture better. I felt like I was in Las Vegas for a second, and then when I got to the end all I saw was the crappy, dirty brick building that is the Glendale Galleria.

At least at the Grove when it comes to an end or corner it loops back around to some other stores...but this mall just ended at the street level which made me think how unsafe the mall would be if I lived there. I never understood who would want to live at the mall in the first place, with all the businesses below and surrounding you would never get to sleep in on the weekends.

Another thing that annoyed me at Americana was all the workers. I know the developers said because of this mall they were employing some hundreds of thousands of people but what will happen is eventually when they can't sell those $700,000 condos and they still have to pay rent on the property, all of those people will be laid off.

My last rant about this place is the parking. I went on a Friday afternoon, right after high school students were getting out of school, and the parking lot was empty. However the parking attendants who were just standing around, "directing" traffic wouldn't allow me to park in the open spaces for whatever reason. Not only did I have to park far from the elevators, once I got out to walk towards the elevators there were no signs directing people to exit the parking structure. When leaving, be sure to go to the correct kiosk to pay, because two of them allow credit cards and only one allows cash. The attendant who is in charge of the parking kiosks doesn't tell you which ones are which, considering they all look the same. So I inserted my parking ticket in to the one that only accepts credit cards, and it told me my fee was $3.00, but I wanted to pay cash. So by the time I canceled the transaction, inserted the ticket into the one that accepts cash my fee went up to $5.00. How you may be thinking? It took less than one minute for me to do this, and I was charged an extra $2.00. When I looked at the attendant to find out why this happened, he simply turned his head as if he didn't hear what I had to say. I thought as I walked away that he would be getting laid off by the end of the summer anyways, so they could have my extra $2.00.

Shoe Whore

One of my favorite pastimes is to go to Elle.com/shopping and view the latest fashions and shoes. From Missoni to Jimmy Choo, Elle’s site has it all. As the shoes flash across the screen displaying the bright yellows, pinks, wedges, gladiators and all, I began to think about the shoes I have in my own closet. None as extravagant as these…but I do have a lot of shoes. 48 pair to be exact. When did Jelly’s come back in style…sorry saw some Michael Kors blue jellies flash across the screen. What was I saying…yes Shoes. Although I can’t afford the latest Louis Vuitton, Celine or Marc Jacobs I think I have a good collection for a girl my age, on my budget…which is currently unemployed :) Like any twenty something year old I have the basic black peep toe pumps, Jessica Simpson brand…oh those Christian Dior’s…the ones with the studded heel and the D charm that drops around the ankle, which comes in Black, demin baby blue and white…those are just the colors I’ve seen them in. So hard to concentrate on what is in my closet with the screen of Dolce & Gabbana gladiators.

Focus….in addition to the black patent leather peep toe pumps, I have some Mary Jane black suede peep toes from Nine West. Those are my babies…only wore them three times since I bought them last Fall. Any shoe closet is not complete without those pairs of shoes that you never seem to wear, but you bought them. Or those special occasions shoes. For instance I bought a pair of satin, sling back strappy sandals in an oatmeal peach color from BCBG that I wore to a wedding last September. I will wear them again…one day. Some others that are my absolute faves are my riding style/ pirate style black boots that are just below the knee from Nine West. Those shoes were a hassle to get. I almost got arrested for them. I saw them on the Macy’s website when I was shopping for clothes/shoes before my Christmas trip to NYC…we were staying by Rockefeller center, walking distance from 5th Ave. So I had to had to get everything perfect. Anyways, my boyfriend said he would buy them for me as a present…so while I was in one of my night classes I went to the site, and decided to just get them. So my boyfriend text me his CC# and I went to purchase them. Unfortunately for me Macy’s has all these rules that zipcodes and phone numbers need to match with the credit card numbers. Little did I know the billing address for this particular credit card was at my BF’s parent’s house in NYC. So Macy’s contacted his credit card company which froze my purchase and wouldn’t allow me, by name, to order anything from their site until the matter was cleared up.

I was afraid to tell him what happened, but at the same time I wanted my boots. The next day when he was at work I tried to call Macy’s to clear up the misunderstanding, and since I am not the cc holder, no my name is not Mrs. Rossi...that made the situation even worse because they thought it was stolen. So I called him at work on 3-way (can you tell I really wanted these boots?), he was in a meeting by the way, and tried to explain everything to him in 15 seconds so he could make it all better. I just wanted my $300 pair of boots. The matter was cleared up, thankfully and I didn’t get arrested for trying to use a stolen credit card. The things us women do for shoes. Now back to Elle’s shoe fashion show…ooohhh Prada, Nine West, Armani, Lanvin…shoes….drooling.