I watched The Other Boleyn Girl the other night, and if you haven't seen it yet, you should. Its about Henry Tudor VIII and the two Boleyn girls who battle for his affection, as his mistresses, and one becomes his queen. The one sister, played by Natalie Portman, becomes his Queen by using the only power she has, sex. She held out, until she was sure that he would make her his queen, however he ended up just taking it from her. Her power was sex. I started thinking about the power that women have. Unless we have millions of dollars, and are the heads of something, we are completely powerless. Women have power over each other, but when it comes to men, sex is our only power. There are over 31 definitions for the word power and 48 laws of power, and women only have one? That doesn't add up to me. I think women need to figure out other powers that they can have, besides sexual ones, or caddy power over other women.
I love the 48 laws of power, although it was originally written by Niccolo Machiavelli, in his work, The Prince, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Prince. I never realized how important having power is, until I learned about the 48 laws 4 years ago. The laws can be applied to just about anything in your everyday life. I think as a woman, having power is important. Not just power over others, but over yourself, sort of like self control. For example:
Law 1 - Never outshine the master - Always make those above you feel comfortably superior. In your desire to please or impress them, do not go too far in displaying your talents or you might accomplish the opposite - inspire fear and insecurity. Make your masters appear more brilliant than they are and you will attain the heights of power.
I apply that law to my job everyday. Although my boss trained me, and she has been in the business longer than myself, I am still quicker than she is. I notice little mistakes that she makes all the time, but I don't say anything. I let her see her own mistakes, because I feel like she will think I'm being a smart ass if I say something to her. Not only that, you don't want your boss to think that she/he can be replaced by you, even though the possibility is so great, especially the way the economy is going.
Law 4 - Always say less than necessary - When you are trying to impress people with words, the more you say, the more common you appear, and the less in control. Even if you are saying something banal, it will seem original if you make it vague, open-ended, and sphinxlike. Powerful people impress and intimidate by saying less. The more you say, the more likely you are to say something foolish.
That law is about self control most definitely. I used to just talk and talk and talk and randomly say whatever was on my mind. But I noticed people's expressions and I started feeling stupid. It wasn't that the things I said were stupid, just pointless, or unnecessary. It took me a while to get my mouth under control. The number one thing that I used to get in trouble for, while in school, was running my mouth. But you are more powerful, when you are quiet, because people start wondering what you're thinking. And when you do say something, it seems profound, because it took you a while to think about it. Then people hang on your every word. This is good amongst associates, not friends, just associates and even in dealing with guys.
Last but certainly not least, one of my most favorite law.
Law 10 - Infection: Avoid the Unhappy and Unlucky - You can die from someone else's misery - emotional states are as infectious as disease. You may feel you are helping the drowning man but you are only precipitating your own disaster. The unfortunate sometimes draw misfortune on themselves; they will also draw it on you. Associate with the happy and fortunate instead.
Have you ever noticed how the mood can change whenever a certain person is in the room? An unhappy person, someone who everyone knows is usually a Debbie downer, you need to avoid that person. You don't realize how quickly you can fall into other people's negativity. It is so easy. One person says something mean, you say something mean back. It can just continue into something that you don't want to be involved in. Seriously think about your own life. It is time to be somewhat selfish, and not worry about anyone else. Other people's issues, drama and unhappiness is not your own. You don't have to be down because they are. But it is so easy to be like that. Just continue to be happy. Get away from that person, or if you can't avoid them physically, then block them out. Start doing something that makes you happy, or that can occupy your time while you are around that person. This is still one of the hardest powers for me to learn. I have struggled with this one in the past, and I am started to get a handle on it. However, it is not easy.
To read more about the 48 laws of power, you can either purchase the book at Barnes and Noble or wherever, or get the abridged version like me from the below link.
http://www2.tech.purdue.edu/cgt/courses/cgt411/covey/48_laws_of_power.htm
~ JB
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