Same-sex Marriage

On Monday June 16^th same-sex marriage became temporarily legal in California. Same-sex marriages were being held across the street from my job at the West Hollywood park. There were white tents covering the whole park. One for the marriage license, and several for whichever denomination someone identified with. For example if you needed a rabbi, he was there; a priest, he was there, a minister or justice of the peace. They were all there conducting marriages left and right.

Anyways, a couple came into my office wearing two stickers on their shirts that read, “We are legally married.” They said that they just woke up and decided to get married. They have been together for 19 years or so. It was the most beautiful and simplistic decision that a couple can make. They seemed so happy, relaxed and calm. Their decision to get married and to continue to spend the rest of their life together almost brought tears to my eyes.

Now I don’t want you to think that I have gone soft on my opinions of marriage, its just the fact that same-sex couples have had to deal with so much over the decades that its great that out of all of the complication that they deal with on a daily basis, they can just have something so simple at the end of the day. I’m not going to argue or deny their rights but their struggles are some what similar to what couples in my situation have dealt with.

From Wikipedia - Proponents of same-sex marriage make a comparison between racial segregation and segregation of homosexual and heterosexual marriage classifications in civil law.^[75] They argue that dividing the concept of same-sex marriage and different-sex marriage is tantamount to "separate but equal" policies (like that overturned in the U.S. Supreme Court case Brown v. Board of Education), or anti-miscegenation laws that were also overturned by the Supreme Court in 1967 in Loving v. Virginia.

Interracial couples were also denied the right to marry or even be together up until the late 60s. To this day there are many people who don’t want to accept seeing an interracial couple together. I can imagine that for those same people, seeing a same-sex couple together makes them feel the same way. My boyfriend and I have had our share of issues and struggles even in the year 2008. The simplest things that couples do have been denied to us, because I’m African American and he is Italian/Scottish American.

Four years ago we wanted to adopt a puppy from the Pasadena Humane Society and the people who worked there wouldn’t even let us pet the puppies. When we decided on one that we liked, we had the money and the authorization from our land lord to adopt, but they still refused us. They wanted to put us on a waiting list for this puppy, and they took us to the back room, like we were criminals. When we left, there was a little girl with her father, both white, holding the same puppy that we wanted.

We had trouble finding an apartment, because no one wanted to rent to us. We get shit when we go to dinner, when we go shopping, everywhere we go and just about anything we do there is always someone who wants to give us shit. We started becoming uncomfortable going out in public, and we were more conscious to the fact that people were constantly staring at us. Although our issues may be more tolerable than what some same-sex couples have gone through or are still going through, I feel a connection to their struggles.

It seemed to me that since the couple has gone through so much in their relationship, why make marriage and wedding complicated? Getting married should be for the two people, and it shouldn’t be a huge show. Love crosses all types of boundaries and it doesn’t matter what race, sex, size or class a person is. The only person who can prevent you from loving another person is yourself. People shouldn’t allow what others say to dictate your life choices, your love and your heart.

Love should be simple, not complicated. Every decision, including marriage plans shouldn’t cause you stress. Love is not meant to be stressful, nor selfish, or harsh. Love should be the best feeling in the world. It should be the reason you have a smile on your face day after day. The reason you wake up in the morning. Even if you are single, the love you have for yourself should get you out of bed in the morning.

My theory is, if you have love, you have happiness, health, beauty and power. Love should be able to deliver all of those things, and if it doesn’t then you need to reevaluate your situation.

Congratulations to all of the same-sex couples in California who got married this week and to all HAPPY couples who are TRULY in LOVE.