Daddy

Last year I came up with this idea to publish letters from women, to their fathers. After I entered the crazy world of PR, that whole idea went out the window. My concept came from the fact that I don't have a good relationship with my father. Many women I know don't; so I thought, instead of dealing with the confrontation of talking to them, or trying to track them down in some cases, then why not write them letters.

Dear Daddy, was the name of my operation. Problems arose, because #1, no one wrote letters and #2, I wanted to reach more women. Why is that women have so many issues with their fathers? A lot of women I know, have never met their fathers, and some have lost their fathers. I didn't want to depress people, with a whole book about missing daddies, so I asked some of my friends, the ones who have children, to have their kids write a letter to their fathers as well. I know not everyone has a bad relationship with their dads. I didn't until my parents divorced, but I was too young to realize the importance a father plays in the roll of a teenage girl's life.

I never understood why other girls, whose parents were also divorced, were able to see their fathers all the time. And why my dad disappeared for four years. But these are questions that I have had to figure out the answers to on my own, without me actually asking my dad.

But it wasn't until last year, when I graduated college that more things became clear to me. My mother told me that when I was in high school, my dad told people that I would probably end up pregnant, and drop out of school. I've never actually heard these words out of his mouth, but that is what she told me. So when I graduated college, he was there, and I was happy to have his presence. A week before the graduation, he was upset that I didn't invite his family who live in North Carolina. I told him, those invitations cost $60 for only 25, and if he wanted more for his family, then he should have given me the money. See, my dad thought because he was forced to pay child support and alimony, that he didn't have to pay for anything else. From the time I was 19 until last year, he was done paying for me.

To make a long story short, my mother planned this surprise graduation party for me, because she was so happy. My boyfriend's parents even flew out from NYC to come to my graduation and party. It was really nice. I'm known for speaking my mind, and telling the truth about any and everything. So during my, "speech" I thanked everyone who helped me through college. My mom and my aunt both worked two jobs to help me buy books, pay for tuition, parking passes, etc... and my grandparents, bless their hearts, cleaned people's homes and backyards so they could give me a lot of $ for graduation. My family is not rich, but they are supportive, and helpful. So I didn't thank my father. He didn't help me with anything. My mother asked him to help her with the surprise party, 3 months in advance, but he didn't want to participate. They paid $600, my mother and my aunt for the party. But it as worth it. I'm the first grandchild to graduate college in 10 years, so my family had to show love.

Needless to say, my father was upset. He was ready to start a scene at the party, but he was escorted out by my uncles, aunts, godmothers and godfathers, you know how families are. Why am I telling you all of this? These words keep waking me up every morning. And every father's day I think, should i even get him a card. Should I get him anything? I spoked to him for the first time since that incident a few weeks ago. I needed money to help get me through the month, since I'm temporarily unemployed. He helped me out, and we've stayed in contact since then.

I started thinking about these letters again, and how nice it would be to get them published. Regardless of the type of relationship you have with your dad, whether you want to thank him, praise him, pray for him. Whether you've met him or not, or if he abandoned you. This Father's Day, write him a letter. Let him know how you feel. Writing helps me get all of my thoughts out, writing is therapeutic and I know it will help you too.

Dear Daddy...