Over the Labor Day weekend I went to my grandparents house in Palm Springs, spent the night with some of my family. My two favorite aunts and my cousins. We stayed up all night, chit chatting, like we were all in high school still. Watching television on my grandparents big screen. My aunt, whose my best friend, she's 56 but she looks like she is 35, its true, black does not crack, ever, she is gorgeous. She's a size 4, like me, and she has no kids and has never been married. She was one of the rose bowl parade queens, in Pasadena, she's a Delta Sigma Theta. A single diva at best, who teaches U.S. History at UC San Diego at night, and teaches U.S. History at a private school in her neighborhood. She has been a teacher for 35 years, and knows everything about everything. She has traveled the world, places that most people wouldn't want to visit, she has been there. So, you can see why I admire and adore her. She takes care of everyone in our family, financially, spiritually and emotionally, she is there for everyone, there to listen. But this weekend I noticed a change in her. Not in a bad way, but she was just very different.
Come to find out, she and her on again-off again boyfriend of almost 30 years broke up. For good, she is done with him. He was a famous baseball player in the 80's and now is a batting coach for a huge and famous baseball team. I can't give out any team names, sorry. And his son plays in the outfield of yet another huge baseball team. I can't tell...I don't want to get anybody in trouble. But I'm telling you the truth. She has baseballs signed by the most famous players over the years. She is so selfless, that she gives the balls away to her students if they get A's or if they do well on their finals etc...They are prizes for them and the kids love them. I was shocked and awed to find out that they ended their long standing relationship, which none of us ever understood anyway. She never wanted to marry him because, lets face it, he is never in the same state more than 4 days or so.
In the beginning of their relationship, she was telling us, he would fly her from state to state, so they could be together. Wherever his team was playing, she would be there, almost like his mistress. I can't say she is the reason him and his wife divorced, but I'm sure she is the main part. He bought her, her first car...a Nissan 300...a popular car in the 90's. He took care of her, sent her flowers, diamonds, everything. They vacationed together, she had a dream girl's life. She had the famous boyfriend, who she didn't have to see all the time if she wanted. "If he told me jump, I would say how high," she told us. The main trouble in their relationship, was the distance, and after all these years they saw each other less and less. She didn't even consider him her boyfriend because of their lack of a relationship. He would call her and she never called him.
They started only seeing each other in the off season, and if his team played the San Diego Padres. Sometimes if he was in Los Angeles, she would go see him, or he would fly her up.
"At one point in my life, I did want to marry this man. I thought he was going to propose, but what kind of life would we have together," she said. Their break up was as non-traditional as their relationship. He called her when he was in San Diego recently, and she didn't respond. He kept calling her, and she has yet to return his call. "That's it...I'm too old for this relationship, for these games." Too old! Too old! But she looks gorgeous, as beautiful as she did if not better, than when they first hooked up. "I've come to the realization, that I'm going to be alone forever. And I'm okay with that. I like being alone, I like having to depend on no one."
I started thinking, about my own life, and how much I used to want to be alone. I wanted to be just like her, and not that there is nothing wrong with her wanted to be alone, but I used to want to be alone to;o. As much as I admired her single life style, her freedom, it does get pretty lonely. I'm an only child, so I know what its like to be alone, always. Her fabulous life of going to the Ivory Coast, traveling to Alaska, Italy, France, Germany wherever and whenever she wanted to go. Her gorgeous BMW, her own house, that she owns, with the help of no one, its all glamorous and fabulous. But is that really what I wanted? To be alone, forever, and to be content with it. I'm happy for her, but we all knew she would be alone. And its not like she never had a slew of boyfriends, or men hitting on her. But to want to be alone forever, is scary. I think she just got used to it. To not depending on anyone. When I'm alone, at home, I'm okay, and when I'm not I am fine too.
My mother is the total opposite, she can't stand being alone. Her biggest fear is that she is going to die alone. I'm not afraid of being alone. The way I see it is, if my boyfriend and I broke up tomorrow, I will be okay. I would be perfectly fine. The older I get, the more independent I become. Although we help and support one another, I think I could help and support my self too. Eventually :)
At the same time....I think I'm have a quarter life crisis...I will be 25 next year....aaaahhhh! I know that its not old, but its a fabulous age to be...and it doesn't bring me any closer to wanted to get married either. LOL!
That is my love & baseball story.
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