What Goes Around Comes Around

In episode 47, Carrie so graciously fills our heads by asking, “Is there such a thing as relationship karma?” Phew! That was a close one, the very thought of typing out such a question made me think the world would blow up. Relationship karma is a very loaded term. I sure hope it doesn’t exist, because then we are all in serious trouble. Karma is so strong, and for those of you who don’t know what karma has in store for you, according to many religions, it is a belief of a cause and effect type of situation. Karma can not only affect you in this lifetime, but in all future lifetimes and it can never actually be escaped. Whatever you do you should be prepared for the repercussions.

It really makes you think doesn’t it? Not only in terms of relationship, but the way you treat all living things on this earth. Karma is nothing to fuck with, because it will always come back around, full circle. Don’t worry; I won’t start preaching about repenting or anything like that. I don’t think it is ever too late to improve one’s karma. You have until your last days to improve it that is just my opinion. But we are dealing with relationship karma. I don’t think there is such a thing. Sure karma itself exists, but not when it comes to matters of the heart. It is that individual who carries that baggage and the mindset from their previous relationships that affect their current ones. People carry the karma with us, in our minds to the next relationship. If one can only escape their minds, then worry about the new relationship or else you become the victim.

This can be proven time and time again. I have a friend who takes her old relationship with her all the time, in to her new ones. Whatever bad happened before could be forgotten, but she won’t let it. That is not necessarily karma, but her being her worse enemy. All the hurt and pain from one relationship will only bring hurt and pain to another relationship. This can easily be fixed. A person needs to heal themselves before bringing that pain into their new relationship. Clear your mind, free your heart, take control of yourself and your emotions to save you in the new relationship.

My last relationship was a disaster, but my new relationship has nothing to do with the old one. That is how everyone should look at it. There is no such thing as good karma and bad karma, but there is balance. A cycle, or a circle of balance. If you leave karma to determine your fate in love, then I must ask who controls your relationships. You? Or karma?

What Goes Around Comes Around originally aired October 8, 2000. For more information on this episode click the link here: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0698699/

Sex and Another City

Episode 44 – Is it really what’s outside that counts?

This is one of my favorite episodes, when the girls are in my hometown of Los Angeles, and they go to the Playboy Mansion, Samantha gets a fake Fendi and the fake agent, I mean the house sitter played by Vince Vaughn. This episode is great, because it shows what New Yorkers really think about Los Angeles, that everything is Fake. And 8 years later, New Yorkers still think all of us Angelenos are fake. I just want to let people know, that most, over 70% (not an actual statistic, just my guestimate) of Angelenos are not originally born and raised here. I only have three friends that are actually from Los Angeles. Everyone else I know is from different states or different parts of California.

These are the people who are fake in Los Angeles; the platinum blondes, the fake breasts, the plastic surgery addicts, the distorted body image, the fake jewelry, designer handbags, tans, and everything else. Most of the actors and actresses are not from here either. Yet, people who are not native to Los Angeles assume that our city is full of this fakeness. So, is it really what’s outside which matters? How can you tell what is on the outside, if it is all fake? It is so easy for a woman to make herself appear more beautiful by adding all the ingredients of phoniness to their appearances.

I can’t defend Los Angeles too much because appearance is everything. After all we are in Hollywood, the entertainment capital of the world. A place that thrives on the beautiful, the fake and the shallow, God bless Los Angeles. There is no other place that I would want to be. L.A. is not the only city that is like this, where outer appearance is the only thing judged. Many other cities across the country value beauty as well, Miami, South Beach, New York (they value designer things, that is still a part of what makes up someone's outer appearance), just about any major city.

Beauty is what counts in this country. We make fun of what is different. That is just how our nation operates. Instead of embracing people’s awkwardness and what makes them stand out, we tease them. I am not innocent in the fact that I don’t get involved in the teasing. What makes me so perfect? Who am I to judge others? I don’t think people realize the impact of that their thoughts have on others. We are our own worse enemies. We are the reason why Americans are so shallow. Aren’t we? Who is on top? The good looking, the rich and famous and the fake, it is what is on the outside that counts, the appearance of wealth, phoniness and the upper classes. That is what runs our nation; unfortunately, what is on the outside is all that matters to the majority.

Sex and Another City originally aired September 17, 2000. For more information on this particular episode click here: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0698662/

Escape from New York

Episode 43 – Can you ever really escape your past?

In order to escape your past, you have to actually be able to remember it. I don’t really remember much of my past; I blocked most of it out. I don’t want to remember it, not because it was terrible, but because I don’t believe in remembering the past. Honestly, who really wants to remember high school? Those awkward years, all the stupid mistakes that you made, the guys you dated, etc… And now that I live closer to where I grew up, I run into people from time to time. I don’t say hi, is that mean? Who cares? It was in the past.

My boyfriend moved across the country to escape his past. He’s done a good job of keeping it where it belongs, but every time he goes back home, those old memories and feelings arise again. Science has proven, (yes science, shut up) that smells and locations can trigger certain memories in the brain. Maybe I turned off that part of my brain, because I just don’t remember a lot of things.

My boyfriend always tells me that, if you forget your past, how do you know where you are going? Your past is what shapes you as a person. As much as I try to forget my past, I know that it has shaped my perspective in life. There is no denying that fact, it has shaped me as a writer, my views on relationships now, due to the bad ones of the past. The past works in mysterious but wonderful ways.

If you don’t recognize the mistakes of your past, are you doomed to repeat it? What if you do recognize them, but the same shit keeps happening over an over again? See, these questions, are the main reason why I have decided to block out most of my past life. I like the future to be a surprise, and not an indication of my past life. Why would you want to repeat something in life? Life is all about moving forward, looking for new positive adventures. How can you look forward to something, if you are running away from something in the past, or worrying about what you did in a past life?

It is my belief that the past should stay where it belongs. Enjoying the good memories, laughing about the embarrassing moments is one thing, but dwelling on something that has already happened, is just a waste of time.

Escape from New York originally aired September 10, 2000. For more information on this episode click this link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0698632/

Drama Queens

Episode 37 – “Do we need drama to make a relationship work?”

Drama in relationships means, that the two people truly love each other, right? I used to think that without drama, there couldn’t be love. People need to fight to show love. My ex and I lived by the above theories. Drama ruled our relationship. Drama is not needed to make relationships work. They only tear people further apart. Most people only have drama in their relationship, because secretly they are not happy. They have to keep shit stirred up to make them feel like there is something worth fighting for. I will be the first to admit that woman keep the drama going in their relationships. Making up stories, trying to catch their boyfriends cheating or trying to set up their boyfriends to cheat; women are the culprits of drama.

Relationship drama is a result of unhappiness. Drama is just an excuse to break up with someone. Drama doesn’t not make relationship works, it seems more like a cop-op to me. Just break up with the person, don’t make up things to keep drama going. Drama is stressful; it only makes things worse when you finally grow some to dump the person. Once you start it, you can’t stop it.

Its like a drug, it is bad for you, but you want it and once you get a taste you’re addicted. Just put down the pipe, and walk away from the drama.

Drama Queens originally aired July 23, 2000. For more information on the episode click the link below: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0698630/

Where There’s Smoke…

Season 3: Episode 31 – Carrie wondered, “Do women just want to be rescued?”

Of course women want to be rescued. It is ingrained in us from the time we were all young. I blame the fairy tales and Disney movies; they taught us that all women just want to be rescued. We learned about fairy tales at a young age, take Rapunzel for example. She had to be rescued, and only a particular guy could come save her. According to this story, women just need a man to come save them.

Could these tales have anything to do with why women want to be rescued? As a teenager, I just wanted to be rescued from my parent’s house. I wanted my boyfriend to come rescue me from my “hell” at home. We all wanted to leave, rebel against our parents, the first person who could save us, was usually our boyfriends.

In some cases, women needed to then be rescued from their boyfriends, but that is another story. Women are constantly in need of being rescued, but why does a man have to be the one to rescue us? Why can’t we rescue ourselves? A straight male says, “Only women who are insecure want to be rescued.” Considering the amount of insecure women, there must be millions who need to be rescued. A friend of mine recently was in need of being rescued, but of course she relied on a man to do it for her. Since then she has been left a lone and jobless. She needs to rescue herself now, because relying on a man to do it, only led to abandonment.

An optimist might say that being rescued is romantic. Prince Charming can come sweep you off your feet any day, and save you. But I say, when it comes to being rescued, I rather be left out there to die, or drown or whatever the case may be.

Where There's Smoke originally aired June 4, 2000. For more information on the episode click on the link below:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0698701/

The Return of Sex and the City - Elle.com

By Tracey Lomrantz

They made caftans cool, established the re-emergence of the fanny pack, and turned Manolo Blahnik into a household name. They exposed midriffs while raising eyebrows. They dropped $3,000 on a single handbag. They punctuated their wardrobes with muskrat fur and cowboy hats the way most women use pearls and pumps. And they certainly never treated “risk” as a four-letter word.

The sartorial feats achieved by costume designers Pat Field and Rebecca Weinberg, along with the cast members they dressed on Sex and the City during its highly influential six-season run were not only staggering, they spawned an unstoppable machine of economic, cultural, and social trends that still very much matter today. From nameplate necklaces to exposed bra straps, SATC had a hand in creating some of the biggest fashion statements of the past 10 years—and when the feature film is released on May 30, it’s impossible not to imagine a flock of Sex-ettes queued up to get their hands on the next generation of It Items it’s bound to ignite.

The film circles back to many of the series’s common fashion themes (oversize flowers, menswear, status shoes and bags), reaffirming its sense of import in the current style landscape. “I had no idea from a wardrobe aspect what kind of influence it would have,” says costume designer Rebecca Weinberg, who worked on the show alongside Field from 1999-2001. “But in the ‘90s we were the first program where style really was a key element.”

In reality, style was a “key element” to the series the way water is a “key element” to the Pacific Ocean. “In terms of the series, fashion didn’t just reflect the zeitgeist, it actually influenced it as well,” says Valerie Steele, fashion historian and director of the Museum at the Fashion Institute of Technology. “It really validated people’s love of fashion. Even people who weren’t going to spend $500 on a pair of shoes suddenly became very aware of Manolo and Choo and the whole concept of luxury.”

Luxury certainly had a prominent place on the show in the dot-com-rich early ‘00s (the Fendi baguette, the fur coat, the Oscar de la Renta dress), but one of SATC’s most enduring legacies is the so-called high-low mix that’s highly prized by the fashion community. “We would mix high end luxury stuff with literally thrift store finds,” Weinberg says of Carrie’s wardrobe in particular. “It’s just the way we dress in real life, relying on sample sales and vintage pieces and little finds here and there.” One of the most memorable looks from the show, the tulle skirt that Sarah Jessica Parker wears in the opening sequence, was a $5 vintage piece plucked from the starlet’s own closet (reportedly a move on HBO’s part to maintain an air of timelessness, as they knew the sequence wouldn’t change throughout the show’s lifetime).

And while the women of SATC may change men and trends as frequently as their knickers, Steele says she thinks the style on both the series and the film will age rather well. “I think it will be a fabulous time capsule,” she says. “I’d like to imagine watching it again in 25 years and I think it will really hold up.” That’s good news for Parker—since her first day on set, her contract has stipulated that she has the privilege to keep every piece she’s ever worn during filming.

Though some of the show’s trends may be rather regrettable (“Gloves always look so silly—they just remind me of trying too hard,” Weinberg says of the season six accessory fascination. “I got so sick of them!”), it could never be accused of being boring. With Carrie and company’s risks came some genuine mistakes, lending them an air not just of sophistication but of accessibility. Television shows have certainly left their imprint on the fashion climate over the years (click here to see our top 20 favorites), but none will ever have the same allure as Sex.

Old Dog, New Dicks

Episode 21: Can you change a man? LOL! I just have to be blunt for a second, pull a Samantha. You can change a man if the sex is good. If you can keep him satisfied. Oh hell, if you can fuck his brains out on a regular basis. A man will do just about anything if his dick is happy. I’m sure you may be surprised by my vulgarities, but come on, it is SATC. You have to be able to expect the unexpected when dealing with a show such as this.

I think a lot of men fight against being changed. But when you get under someone’s skin, or they love you uncontrollably, you can definitely change them. The true question is why would you change your man? If you made the choice to date that person, you knew how they were before things got serious. I love hearing women say that they can change their men. Why not find the person who is right for you? Or what’s wrong with loving them for who they already are?

I think the problem with women is that we are naturally so motherly, and caring that we believe we are helping men. Making them better…when in actuality we are forcing them to loose their identity by becoming some god damned perfect Ken doll. People are not perfect, we were not meant to be, so changing a man will not make him love you more. In fact he could end up secretly hating you. If you find it absolutely necessary to change a man, so he fits your needs, maybe you should take a look in the mirror first. A lot of times, the changes we project on to our men are the ones we want to make for ourselves. But it is so much easier to change someone else? Don’t get me wrong, some men have bad habits, and are in need of help. There are many ways to help people without drastically changing them. Change can be a good thing, if it is done in a healthy way. Sometimes people want to change but don’t know how. Whatever the case may be, you have to let your man decide the changes he may want make on his own. It is better to not impose too much on the changes our men decide to make.

I’m a firm believer in letting people be themselves; especially when it comes to relationships. Women, lets face facts, you can’t make your man’s decisions for them, if so then you don’t have much of a man at the end of the day. You have pussy, and ladies, you don’t want two pussies sleeping under the same roof. Or do you?

Old Dog, New Dicks originally aired August 1, 1999. For more information on the episode click on the link below:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0698653/