Penis Envy

I'm still reading The Feminine Mystique, and I came across penis envy...and I don't remember learning about that in school. I didn't take that many psychology classes, because of my major, Journalism, I was all over, but never had the opportunity to focus on that many other sources, besides black studies. So I googled penis envy, and got this http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penis_envy

After confirming with some other readings, I know that wikipedia is correct in its definition, I never trust the first source I read...what kind of journalist/write would I be. So anyways, I always thought penis envy was the obvious, what it says. Women being envious of men for having penis'. But I thought even further than that. Men are so outward with every thing, from the genitals to their emotions. There are men who could fuck hundreds of women without any emotional attachment, and that is because their genitals are on the outside, no emotions or attachments. But since women are entered, we have so much inside of us, and women become instantly attached once they have intercourse, well some women. I just thought that women were envious of men because they are not as attached, on every level of life.


Well, anyways, after reading about what penis envy actually is, according to Freudian psychology, theory and/or thought, I began to wonder if that envy ever goes away. I did love my father as a child, and hated my mother, was it penis envy that made me feel like that, who knows. But now things have changed so much. Due to their divorce, I don't want to be like my parents, and I am hardly envious of either one of them. The theory according to what I read, says that young girls want to be like their mothers, because they have their fathers, and the penis envy is what makes them want their fathers. I guess that is where the term daddy's girl came from...and mama's boy, since the opposite is true for men. But once women grow older, and detach from their fathers, and move on to other men, does penis envy still exist? I wasn't able to get an answer from sites that I went to, I suppose I have to purchase the book, but I think the envy continues in other ways.


I can't say that the discovery that I made as a child, which lead me to knowing that I didn't have a penis, made me envious. I don't remember that far back, but nowadays I think if I was envious of men it would be for other reasons. The fact that they have penises means absolutely nothing to me, I suppose its the freedom attached to it that makes me jealous. However, the lack of a monthly menstrual cycle due to their penises, does piss me off. The fact that men feel invincible because of their penises is also another story. What gave men the right to feel invincible because of a genital difference? I can never understand that, but their physical strength is not due to their penis, maybe its their balls...anyways, that is not the point I'm trying to make here. The point is that right now, at this moment, the only thing that makes me jealous of a man, is the simplicity of their thoughts. Women are complicated and men are simple, right? Men come from Mars and women from Venus...


I just wish I could simplify my life like a man does. Simplify my morning routine, my day to day process....all the things that make me feminine, just sometimes not all the time. There are those days when I say fuck the make up, and I'll put on a baseball cap. The days where I will watch sports all day long, and lift weights, and exercise until I'm drowning in sweat, and I love those days more than any of the others. More than having the hair from my legs removed, and going to the beauty salon, applying mascara and dressing up. But I think the best thing about being a woman, which a man can never do, unless he is a cross dresser, is that I can be all of the above, in the same day even....sigh