Untitled

Last night I dreamed that you died
This isn't the first time that I had this dream
But this was the first time I didn't cry
I couldn't cry
Because isn't it true?
You died to me a while ago
Our tombstone reads 1984-1996
Beloved Father and daughter relationship
Daughter followed father everywhere
But that relationship ended
You controlled the relationship then
I was too young
The ball was in your court
You were the adult, who should have set the example
But now, that I'm an adult, I have decided to keep the relationship where it is
Dead
Dead to me
Dead to you
I tried to fix it
I tried to make amends
I tried to bring it back to life
But you did nothing
You didn't bother to help
You kept your distance
You don't even call
So when you died last night
In my sleep
It might as well be true
In life
In reality it is true
Because our relationship is dead
That of Father and daughter

The Coldest Winter Ever Movie?

I can't believe I forgot to talk about this on Wednesday's blog. When I was at Barnes and Noble, listening to the wise words of Sister Souljah, she cleared up rumors about The Coldest Winter Ever movie. She said that years ago, when she was in D.C. at a conference she met up with Jada Pinkett Smith. And she had given Jada an advanced copy of the book. Jada told her that it had to be made in to a movie. They got in to contact with each other, this was like 8 or 9 years ago, maybe even right around the time the book came out. Anyways, HBO was interested and worked with Souljah and Jada to get a film made, that was just going to air on HBO. However, HBO ended up loosing interest, and Souljah had to buy the rights back of the film. She wanted to buy the rights back, because she owned the publishing rights to the book, so why should someone else own the rights to the film. Plus, HBO could have just made the movie without her, because they owned the rights at the time. She said that she had to pay up to $250,000 to get the rights back, and she did.


So now she owns the rights. She said people have come to her with offers and contracts to make it into a movie, but the right offer hasn't come along. She said that she can "read" and she reads all of the contracts that are brought to her, and if she doesn't like "one line" of that contract, then she's not signing it. But now, Jada has contacted her again about the movie, and they maybe talking very soon. Gosh, who would play Winter? Unfortunately the African American actresses to choose from are few and far between, especially of younger actresses. Souljah said that Winter's life in the book goes from when she was 13 to 18, and she ended it in jail, as we know. So who could play her? We don't have that many choices. Meagan Good? Who knows? I forgot to mention that in my last blog about Souljah. I'm on chapter 6 of the new book, and I keep waiting for Winter's name to come up, but I don't think its going to happen soon. Its not what you think, but it is damn good.

~ JB

2pac's Death Announced at Nas' Concert

MTV Shows

Never saw this before and thought it was worth sharing for the people who were not there.

Incredibly Inspired

This evening I had the pleasure of listening to an amazing woman. Ms. Sister Souljah! She was very inspirational, but of course you knew that ;) She read chapter one of her newest novel, Midnight: A Gangsta Love Story. Midnight's story is not what I think most reader's expect to read. You learn all about Midnight and his background, things you never knew. I think because us readers learned about Midnight from the eyes of Winter Santiaga we think of him in a different light. As a baller, a dealer, a paid man, a sexy tall mutha fucka. But he is silent throughout most of the novel. As Sister Souljah put it tonight, "Midnight is basically a stranger to everyone and yet all these women love him." She said that women have screamed and yelled at her, because its been 10 years since her last novel. And people have been waiting and waiting. She said, "I was living my life, what were you doing?" She said that originally, right after The Coldest Winter Ever, that she started writing The Adventures of Porsche Santiaga, Winter's younger sister. But after September 11th, she stopped writing it, although she was a little more than half way done with it. She just stopped and thought, "Does America want to read about another silly girl during this time?" She thought about finishing the novel, but looked around at America and at everything going on after 9/11.


I don't know about your states, but in New York, people started attacking any and everyone who they thought was Islamic, or Muslim. New Yorkers were so angry after 9/11, I know a lot of people were angry, but many New Yorkers were killing and attacking 7-11 workers and cab drivers. So anyways, Souljah thought about all these things, and decided to pick a different character from the novel. Midnight, she said, was from Sudan and he was Islamic. So this book is about his transition from Africa to New York and how different he thought. He actually hated America and black people in America. And he hated the fact that he was automatically associated with black people just because of his dark skin color. This is all with in the first chapter. Sister Souljah said that this is her absolute favorite book. I have studied black men in college, which I know sounds strange, but from the first chapter I think that this would be a good book to be studied in those sort of courses. Everything is from Midnight's eyes and his perspective is what a black man should be like, and not how they actually are in America. Sorry, if that came out wrong, because I give much respect to all the men that take care of their business. But this novel should be read by all most definitely. Black men can learn about how they should be, and how they should treat not only women but themselves and how they should carry themselves in public and to not act so ignorant to everything.

Sister Souljah talked a little bit about how society makes men act, i.e; Hip Hop/rappers and how black men are treated in the media. Midnight looks to his father and family as his "role models" and not to the rappers and the people who use the word Nigga in an ignorant manner. She said that although these characters are made up, from her imagination only, she has received much inspiration from people that she actually knows and has met. She said after working 15 years with young people, she understands them and their struggle. She said even though the characters are not real, they actually are real because Winter Santiaga is not just one person in the ghetto, but she is every girl in the ghetto that Souljah has come in contact with. She talked about everything from these two characters, Winter and Midnight. Not too many people asked questions about the characters, but more about how they can approach writing.


She definitely taught me some things which I can take back to the book that I am writing and it will help make it that much better. But I can't give away all the secrets. I just feel privileged to be able to listen to her speak in my lifetime, and to hear her thought process. She is quite the comedian.

All I will say about the Midnight book is that, it is not what you think, but you will learn more and appreciate him that much more because he is such a different character, than most of the stereotypical black characters in Urban novels. Oh and she signed my book and my Coldest Winter Ever, which I've had for 10 years.

~ JB

Tis' the Season

This holiday season seems to have crept up a lot sooner than I expected. People already had their Christmas trees up by Thanksgiving, and as Black Friday approached, those same people were prepared to line up at the stores for those damn door busting deals by 4 a.m. People went nuts on Friday, and for what, great deals? A fucking present? A man was trampled in New York at a Walmart at 4:55 a.m. because the people were too damn impatient to wait for them to unlock the door. He died of a heart attack at the age of 34, see photo to the right. The police were there most of the morning, as the crowd of 2,000 waited all night to get in, and catch some deals. I didn't know Christmas was this serious. As much as I love shopping, there is nothing that can get me out the door before the crack of dawn to shop. That is insane. I sure hope the presents were worth a man's life. See the related stories below.

Not only that, but two men shot each other in California, inside of a Toys R Us store on Friday, over a toy. They were both fighting and arguing about it, and one man pulled out his piece, and so did the other man. Why would someone bring a gun to a children's toy store, unless they were planning on robbing it? See the news clip below, and I apologize for the commercial.

This time of year pisses me off so much. It actually makes me hate the way people act. I usually spend more time inside around the holidays. Avoiding the crowds is good for me. People are always ready to fight, over the stupidest thing, like a parking spot. Out here in California, holiday shopping is so serious. I don't know how it is anywhere else, but here and NYC, because I've shopped around Christmas in NYC too. Advertisers definitely got their money's worth this season, since people were out in packs. The traffic is so bad around this time of year too! There are 4 malls within a 2 mile radius from my house too, so it takes super long to get home from work. Every year seems to get worse and worse.

People are extra rude around this time of year. They yell at retailers demanding a better deal. They fight for spots in line. They fight for presents. I just don't understand what comes over people, and why they are so stressed out. If I like something, and I can't get it for whatever reason, I find something better. There is no need to argue with the manager, or fight whomever took the last one. That seems so incredibly silly to me. I thought the holidays was supposed to make people happier? I guess not. This year is more stressful than any other, and I think people were even more brutal on Friday because they HAD to have those deals. Possibly any other time a few bucks difference didn't really matter, but now it does. Times are hard, and that is understandable, but to take someone's life at this time of year, its not worth what you're saving. The holiday season, a time to be merry, brings out only the worse in people, and I look forward to staying home more often.

Happy Holidays


http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/29/business/29walmart.html?_r=1&scp=
1&sq=Walmart&st=cse



http://www.nydailynews.com/money/2008/11/29/2008-
11-29_day_after_stampede__shopping_li_walmart_.html

http://www.freep.com/article/20081129
/NEWS07/811290333

Giving Thanks!

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone! I have so much to be thankful for this year, its not even funny. Although the economy is so crummy, I am thanking God right now for every moment I am breathing. I spent Monday in the ER and the last few days suffering from the worse pelvic pain of my life. Them damn ER doctors couldn't find shit wrong with me. I wasn't pregnant, they couldn't find anything on the ultrasound, Nothing! Nada! Yet I felt a lump the size of a miniature egg on my left side, and it was definitely near my ovary. I am so upset with the ER for so many reasons, and you better believe they will be hearing from me. So today was the only day I could get an appointment with an OBGYN. I'm going later today...however whatever was inside of me has dissipated. The egg shaped lump is gone, and I can actually feel where it was. I've been going crazy trying to diagnose myself, which is bad idea, just FYI. I thought maybe it was an ectopic pregnancy, which could still be the case, and maybe my body aborted it. Who knows...but today is the first day in almost two weeks that I don't have pelvic pain. I won't go into any more detail...

Any way, yesterday with my family was great. I love them so much! Family is the best! I got to see all my cousins and my grandparents and my aunts and uncles. Although I was in pain yesterday, seeing them made everything feel great! My grandmother made me a quilt, by hand, I have two others from her, but this one is special. The first one she gave me was when I was 12, and the second one was when I was 18. And now a brand new quilt. See my inserted photo. I love it so much. I slept with it last night, and I think it was the source of my healing. She made it by hand...that loving hand is what saved my life. Also, my so gracious aunt has agreed to send me and my beau on vacation! In August 2009, we're either going to spend our 7 year anniversary in Hawaii or Puerto Rico. She has a timeshare, and she always lets us use it. We went to Cancun, Cabo San Lucas and of course, the place where we first met, because his parents have the same timeshare, the Dominican Republic. So we have something to look forward to next year, even though its months away, I love vacations. Another reason to love family, all those cousins and aunts you haven't seen, love to give me money. Ummm yes, I did receive my B.A. last year, and no you didn't give me a gift, oh money, that works! Family is the best!

Something else to be so thankful for, I filled up my tank for only $20. Yes, $20, gas was only $1.99 a gallon. What! Crazy! I am so happy for that. Even though my job is only 2 miles away from home, I can save even more money. $15 less to fill up my tank!

Finally, the most important thing to be thank ful for. My beau and I went grocery shopping about a week ago, our regular routine, we always make sure our fridge is stocked. We cooked our own thanksgiving meal this year. Even though we went to my grandparents house in Palm Springs, we didn't have to take any left overs home. We made mac and cheese, ham, smoked turkey, mashed potatoes, yams, dressing, green beans and corn on the cobb. We also bought an Apple pie, my fave, from Marie Callendar's. I feel so lucky to have food and more importantly, to have money for food. This holiday season is going to rough for so many people. It won't be that easy for us, don't think we're big balling or anything. Instead of buying presents for each other, we are going to San Francisco, a place he has never seen, since he hails from NY, and a place I haven't been to in 10 years. We're going for Valentine's Day weekend. Staying at the Parc Fifty Five hotel located in Union Square. I'm so excited! Also, we're buying a brand new dresser for our bedroom. We need a bigger one. And that's it. Our little family, E, our pitbull Primo, and my two turtles. That's our family for now, and I love every mintue of life.

Hope you and yours can give thanks like I can. Happy Thanksgiving!

Recent Fashion Finds

Every week I go online and look at clothes...that's just what I love to do. I don't think I discovered anything new here, to the left, because I've seen this Chanel dress on a few celebrities before, but that doesn't mean that I don't love it. Its so classic, the ruffled collar, the bow, the chiffon and silk, the satin belt and the satin bow tie...almost had a fashion orgasm...some of my other online finds below.

Some Manolo Blahnik peep toe, snake skin boots are to die for. I would so wear these...with dresses, a swim suit, anything. These shoes are oh so sexy. Lets see what else did I find....

What makes the below dress sexy is the variation in the color, as well as the neck line. I don't think wearing a v-neck or low cut dress all the time is sexy. The more mysterious you can be the sexier you are. This dress reminds me of being on vacation somewhere...but of course living in Los Angeles always feels like a vacation with our gorgeous weather. Could have gone swimming this weekend, the weather was so damn hot.

These are my fashion finds for the week, two classic yet sexy dresses and some sexy pumps. I could see myself owning all of these items. I'm just a fashion-a-holic...