An excerpt from: Skinny girls love to layer

Running to make it to class on time, the skinny girl's long, yellow and brown knit scarf trailed behind her, looking like a tail around her neck. She loved to layer, and it was definitely needed during the winter months in the city. Before entering the class room she checked her reflection in the window pane. A cute brown corduroy skirt, some tights, an ivory turtle neck and her scarf of course all under her brown peat coat. Her make up was not smudged or ruined despite the fact that she was sweating from the unexpected morning run.

She walked in to class right on time. The instructor was not even there yet. She made sure to sit in the front. All good students sit in the front of the classroom her mother had once told her. The skinny girl's male companion sat next to her as he normally did. She knew that he liked her, but her eyes were for someone else; her instructor.

He came in to class one minute after it was supposed to start. The young educator was only 36 years old. He had brownish blond hair, and hazel eyes. He always managed to have a tan despite the fact that it was in the mid-20's outside. The skinny girl imagined what their children would look like often. She had red hair and green eyes and she just knew their children would be beautiful. She never thought that at 20 years old she would find the love of her life. The history instructor at her university; she wanted to scream their love from the top of the tallest building in the city. However, at his request they had to keep their love quiet. He didn't want to loose his job because after all how would he be able to support her.

She knew that her family and parents would just adore him as much as she did. Their small town would be impressed with his travels and his education. He knew so much about the world. The furthest anyone had traveled from her town was her family, and that was taking her to college two years ago. No one had come to visit her since. She made every excuse possible as to why she could not come home for the holidays. She wanted to stay in the big city. She loved everything about it. Her mother knitted her scarves every winter and sent them as quickly as possible when the temperatures started to drop. She knew that her daughter needed to stay warm especially considering how skinny she was.

After class ended the skinny girl wanted to sit there until every student left, but there were a lot of people lingering today. The instructor glanced at her and winked. She knew that meant for her to meet him later on.

“I waited for you,” the male companion said when she got out of the classroom.

“Thanks,” she said, wishing it was the instructor walking her to her next class and not her friend.

“You look nice today. Are you warm enough?” he asked her.

“I am, I have my magical scarf,” she said as she twirled it around her neck and covered her face with it, as they exited the building heading out into the cold wind.

Later on that evening there was a soft knock on the skinny girl's dorm door. She had been waiting all evening to hear that knock. She knew it was her instructor. She skipped over to open the door, and then checked herself in the mirror. She was wearing a black lace slip with nothing underneath. The slip hung loosely over her small frame. It wasn't that she worked out so much or that she didn't eat. She was naturally skinny. She glanced around the room at the lit candles that glowed in the mostly dark room. She was happy when her parents agreed to pay for her to have a room to herself. If she had a roommate she would never be able to do what she’s been doing for the past 6 months.

She opened the door slowly peeping out a bit to make sure it was him. His scent of Polo cologne came around the corner and up her nose and she smiled. He came in the room and immediately took of his coat and boots.

“I was thinking about you all day,” he said.

She just smiled. He scooped her up in his arms, his sweater was warm and his hug felt good against her cold body. Her nipples were hard just from his touch. Or maybe it was from the cold, but either way she was just happy to be near him.

She moved over towards the bed and sat down while he removed his clothes getting completely naked. She just watched him move like a black panther towards her. He laid her back and got on top of her. They had stopped using condoms about a few months ago. She was on the pill and she trusted him completely. Besides, like he told her, it felt so much better without a condom anyway. He was her first, and she definitely wanted him to be her last. He opened her up to so much in the year and a half that they had been together. She switched her major from Business to History just to be around him more. He showed her around the city. He gave her impromptu history lessons wherever they went. He told her he wanted to take her to London, Rome and Paris, and she was ready to let him.

When they were finished he just lay on top of her and she held on tight to him. She wanted to tell him that she loved him, but he had never uttered those words to her. So she just kept quiet about the whole thing. She was convinced that they would be together once she was finished with college. She never wanted him to get in trouble for dating a student. She knew the repercussion that could follow. But she also knew that she was madly in love with him ….

101 Skinny Rules - Top 10

1. Being Skinny is a state of mind
2. Skinny girls have muffin tops too (Check out short story)
3. Skinny girls hate even skinnier girls
4. Skinny girls have fat days too
5. Skinny girls invented skinny jeans
6. Inside every skinny girl is a fat girl
7. Skinny girls are fragile   (Check out short story)
8. Skinny girls bruise easily (Check out short story)
9. Skinny girls envy thick girls
10. Skinny girls don't have to be politically correct

Skinny girls bruise easily

The skinny girl tried hard to get her figure back after giving birth to her son. Her husband never seemed pleased with her weight gain. He let her know very often how he felt about the way she looked. The stress of almost loosing her baby after the last time he put her in the hospital for kicking her ass while she was 7 months pregnant, was really taking a toll on her looks. The doctors said she could have died. Of course she had to make up excuses for why she had bruises all over her body.

"I'm so clumsy. I run into everything," she told the doctor and the nurses. All the while her husband was standing over her.

"Well you need to be more careful,” the doctors told her. But how could she be more careful. She was so afraid to give birth. She didn't know if her son would have brain damage. Her husband slammed her in to the wall belly first. Yet, she was afraid to tell anyone.

A tear rolled down her cheek while she reminisced on her pregnancy. She thought about how her husband stopped touching her since the baby had been born. He hadn't raised his hand to her at all. He didn't even touch her affectionately. Perhaps he couldn't stand the fact that she was so fat. She gained about 50 lbs while being pregnant. At least her baby was healthy.

Everyone tried to warn the skinny girl not to marry him. They were too young to get married and start a family. After all she was only 18. And her husband was 21. She thought that if she stayed with him, married him and gave him a child then he would stop abusing her. She could only pray that it was now over.

She looked up at the clock as the seconds hand just clicked to change the time to 5:00 p.m. She realized that she needed to get dinner started. Now was the perfect time because the baby was taking a nap. She knew her husband would be angry if his dinner was not ready by the time he walked in the door. She whipped up a Chicken Marsala meal for her and her husband. She pumped for her baby, and woke him up at about 5:50 pm. She fed him, and waited for her husband. She didn't want to call him, because he always got upset with her when she bothered him. She was so hungry but she just waited.

I could stand to burn a few more calories, she thought.

Hours later while the skinny girl watched television on the sofa, her husband stumbled in the house. It was almost 8:30 pm. She waited all that time to eat with him. She jumped up to greet him. She had a smile on her face because she was relieved to see him, and because she was hoping not to fight or argue with him. The baby was in his play pen, but visible.

“Hi honey, how was your day?”

“It was fine. I already ate dinner, but it sure does smell good in here.”

“Oh, okay well I'm just going to eat right now, because I've been waiting for you.”
The skinny girl was very disappointed, and she wished that her husband would have at least called. But she knew that she would not have been able to call him. He would have been more upset that she called or tried to question him.

“Well why were you waiting? You should have just ate. You are in charge of feeding my baby, so you need to feed your stomach as well,” he told her. She could tell that he was starting to get upset. She made a small plate of food for herself, and changed the subject.

“Well how was work today?”

“Babe, I don't really want to talk about my day. I'm glad its over, I just want to relax.”
The skinny girl didn't want to say anything else, so she just ate her food quietly. Her husband went upstairs and took a shower. After she finished eating and doing the dishes, she fed her son again and put him to bed. She stayed in the baby's room for an extra half hour because she wasn't sure if her husband would just fall asleep like usual and that she wouldn’t have to deal with him.

When she walked into their room, he was still awake, watching television in bed. All the lights were off, so she just undressed quickly and got in to bed. She tried her best not to disturb him. She smelled alcohol on his breath as his breathing slowed into a more relaxing almost sleepy breath. He was going to doze off soon, she was sure of it. She wanted to go near him, and hug him. She wanted things to be like they were before the baby and before the beatings. She yearned to be touched and loved by him. He had the remote in his right hand and his left hand was over his stomach. She wanted to nestle up next to him. She just sat up in bed, trying to get his attention. She ran her right hand over towards him. Something square and hard was in between them. It was his cell phone. It was rare for him to leave his phone somewhat unattended. She wanted to move it out of the way, but did not want him to notice. She slid the phone with the tips of her fingers over towards her side, so she could place it on the nightstand.

“What are you doing?” He asked.

“I was just moving your phone out of the way so I can rest my head on you,” she said.

“No you weren’t. You are trying look through my phone.”

“No I was not going to look at your phone at all. I just wanted to get closer to you, but the phone was in the way.”

”You lying bitch!” He raised his voice to her. He sat up and dropped the remote. He grabbed her wrist so hard that it made her let go of his phone. “This is my phone. You don’t see me going through your shit.”

“You’re right, I’m sorry. I should have never touched it,” she said so calmly that he would have not known how much pain she was in.

“I’m so sick of you trying to go through my shit. I give you this nice house, I put food on this table, I do everything for you. But you can’t respect me,” he said.

“I do respect you. I just miss you. I just want to get back to normal.” She snatched her hand back from his grip.

“If you respected me, then you would just do the things that I ask you to do. You wouldn’t touch my shit or disturb me while I’m watching television. I told you I had a hard day, but yet here you are bothering me.”

She just wanted him to stop focusing on her because she was not in the mood for an ass beating this night. So she apologized and got out of bed. She went in to the restroom and closed the door. She felt him starting at her every move. While in the rest room she was able to look at her wrist. She was bruised. It was hard for her to not show bruises, she was so fair. Every little mark always showed up on her. Plus her wrist was so tiny. She wanted to stay in the bathroom the rest of the night. She just stared at herself in the mirror. Her black eye was healing from last week when he punched her for burning the bacon. Her inner thigh had a bruise on it from when he threw her down the stairs for asking for more money to buy new clothes since she had gained so much weight. And now her wrist for trying to move his phone. She thought that maybe she had learned her lesson. She should just not interact with her husband at all. Skinny girls like her just bruised too easily and it was best for her to just stay for her son’s sake, and just try to protect herself from her husband as best she could.

Skinny girls are fragile

The skinny girl wondered why her mother was never happy with her. She always complained about how she looked. Her hair was always too flat. She was too skinny. She was too fat. No boy would ever ask her on a date because she was too ugly. The skinny girl envied other girl’s relationships with their mothers. She watched how they interacted when they were picked up from ballet class.

Their mother’s always tell them how proud they are. My mother never says that to me, the skinny girl thought as she waited for her mother to pick her up.

“Get in the car, quick!” her mother said in a hurried tone. The skinny girl snapped out of her trance, and jumped up and in to her mother’s SUV. “What’s the hurry?” she asked her mother as she put on her seatbelt.
“I don’t want Mrs. So and So to see you looking a mess,” she said.

“Mom, I just came out of ballet, of course I look like a mess,” she said.

“Well, that doesn’t mean anyone has to see you getting in to my car.” The skinny girl looked down in to her lap, and away from her mother’s glare in the rearview mirror.

“How was ballet class? Did the teacher tell you that you gained too much weight, because I think you’re much fatter than you were last season,” her mother inquired.

“She said I am fine the way I am.” The skinny girl said. She never actually discussed her weight with anyone except for her mother. Her mother was the only one who really cared enough about how she looked. The skinny girl even stopped caring.

“Well, we need to weigh you before dinner, because I’m not sure if you should actually eat a full plate of dinner tonight. Maybe just carrots and some green tea,” her mother said.

“Okay mom, that’s fine.”

The two continued the rest of their journey home in silence. The skinny girl was completely used to her mother’s efforts to keep her skinny and perfect.

After all her mother had been the perfect ballerina. And according to her mother, that is how she met her father. If her mother was not skinny, then her father would have never noticed her.

“There’s my granddaughter,” the skinny girl’s grandmother was waiting in the living room for her. “Oh my gosh,” the grandmother said under her breath to her son. “She’s so skinny she’s disappearing.”

“Mom, don’t start,” the skinny girl’s father said to her grandmother. The horror on the grandmother’s face could not be wiped away as fast as the skinny girl’s father wanted it to. The grandmother stared at her granddaughter, and they hugged. The skinny girl weighed all of 80 lbs and she was 15 years old. “Wow baby, you look so different than you did the last time I seen you,” the grandmother said.

“Well, we have her on a strict diet for her ballet. She’s going to be the world’s greatest ballerina,” the mother responded.

“Yes she is,” the father chimed in.

“I’m going upstairs to change, I’ll be back down in a minute,” the skinny girl ran upstairs.

She couldn’t wait to get away from the whole discussion about how she looked. That’s all they ever discussed in her house was her looks. The skinny girl was tired of talking about her looks. She was tired of ballet class. She just wanted it all to end. As much as she pretended to care with her mother, she really didn’t care.

She opened up her white dresser drawer and pulled out her pack of Virginia Slim cigarettes and her pink lighter. If her father knew that she smoked cigarettes, he would kill her. It was her mother that got her started because she told her that it would keep her skinny.

The skinny girl went inside her bathroom, stuffed a towel under the door and lit up her cigarette. She just wanted to relax a little. While in her tiny bathroom she felt all alone. Her father never stood up to her mother, she really didn’t have any friends in school or ballet class. She was only allowed to do things that would further her looks or improve her physique. Cigarette in mouth, she stripped her clothes off, and turned on her bath water. She sat in the tub while it filled up around her. She didn’t even add bubble bath or bath salts. She just wanted the hot water around her. She wanted it to burn her skin. She wanted to feel something else besides emptiness. Her mother removed the mirrors from her bedroom and bathroom, so she never got a chance to see what she looked like. Her mother told her how she looked. Her mother dressed her and picked out her clothes and hairstyles. She just let her mother rule her life.

As the water filled up in the tub the skinny girl’s cigarette diminished in her mouth. She didn’t bother to ash the cigarette; she just let the ashes fall on to her chest while in the tub. Off in the distance, she heard someone coming up the stairs. The echo of the water filling up the tub made such a loud, crashing sound that she ignored the footsteps. Her bedroom door was locked and so was the bathroom door. If her mother was to try and enter she would have to go get her key, like she always did. But by that time it would be too late. The skinny girl was now submerged under the water in the tub. The echoing sound of the water had changed, and the water was now dripping over the edge of the claw footed tub. The skinny girl didn’t bother to open her eyes or struggle to get out of the water. She let the drowsiness take over. She allowed the water to enter every opening in her body, until it over took her.

Seconds later her mother came in to her bedroom, key in hand. The billowing cloud of cigarette smoke still lingered in her bedroom from when she first lit the cigarette. The mother noticed the towel stuffed under the bottom of the bathroom door, and she heard the water running. She didn’t want to disturb her daughter, but it was time for dinner. She proudly made her daughter’s green tea. She decided that she didn’t need the carrots tonight. The mother knew that she had been harsher on her daughter than her own mother had been to her, especially during those years of ballet. But she just wanted the best for her daughter. After all, she knew how fragile skinny girls can be. She was a former skinny girl herself. So she left the room deciding to give her daughter 5 more minutes in the tub.